HH (happy holidays not happy hour)

It's been forever since I've blogged. Been super busy finishing up the semester. Now that I'm on break I can finally relax and do whatever it is I want to do everyday...except all I want to do is watch good movies at the theater, but Philip is anti-movie theaters. Too expensive. Too cold. Too lazy. Sucks, 'cause The Angelika closed down and they always played the movies that I wanted to see. It's funny 'cause I met the guy who closed it down when I went to have dinner w/ Miles and his new girlfriend (yup, he did it). The dude was an old friend of hers who buys up property and manages them. He said that Angelika wasn't making proper adjustments to the landlord's requests; like re-painting stuff and patching up some wood. Really? Big deal. I never felt like that place was dirty or old looking at all. But now Houston has one less theater. BORING.

Let's see if I can recap this past weekend. On Thursday I statused that I was going to throw a Yao-Ming party because everyone was saying he's over - and that's sad. I rented Year of the Yao and figured we could figure out some drinking game w/ it. Juan, Oscar and Sam came over for a little bit and then we went to Shot Bar to meet Stephanie. They have a wheel you spin to win shots (but this wheel wins). We won a couple of times, which is probably what led to the rest of the night being a blur. After that Juan took us to Armadillo cause he knows the bartender there or something. We go inside to use the bathroom and then walk to Galant Knight (aka Joia aka the place we used to go when we were all a lot younger). On the walk there me and Steph decide to do a running hug and we both fall to the ground. Pretty much every running hug I've ever experienced leads to the ground; so no more. We stay at Galant Knight for a little bit: Philip is being Philip, Juan is dancing w/ Yvette, Sam is dancing w/ some interesting looking girls and I'm wanting to go home bad. End up back at my place and we all finally watch Year of the Yao.

On Friday we sat around after work and ate BLT's and croissants and watched bloopers on YouTube. It's Always Sunny bloopers are so good. Later we get a little bored and end up going to Brit John's house for a little bit. Wendy, Andy, Don, John and Christine are all there. We do this thing where we looked at everyone's profile pictures on Facebook on John's big screen to make fun of them. Then we looked at everyone's first 5 tagged pictures ever and some people got in trouble. We leave and we head to Shot Bar (Steph loves that place for some reason) but the line is long and it's cold so we just go back to my place. Everyone meets us there and it turned into a mini-party. Whenever the ukulele comes out, it equals and good time.

Saturday was also pretty low-key. Had lunch w/ Philip at the usual. Rice plate for me, #14 for him. Got a strawberry milkshake after that and then ran into Sam, Steph and Conrad outside. Sat with them during their lunch and then went back to my place. I had to finish up some Christmas shopping so Philip drove me to all these boutiques I've been dying to go to (Mortar, Serendipity and some other place I can't remember- but it's ok, because that place had the ugliest things I had ever seen in my life.) I ended up going to church with him for Simang Bang. (Correct me please.) We were both starving at this point and I was so jealous that he would get to go up and eat a cracker. Stand up, sit down, kneel, listen to them sing, hold hands, sing again, watch people eat crackers, kneel, stand up, shake hands. I got this thing down. Had good food afterward in the mess hall and tried really hard to get Carmen to play with me. This lady sang "At Last" and it was really good and not fobby. Went home after that and Donna and David came over for a little bit. Another lean night.

what had happen was

-found out I'm gonna be an uncle
-still partying on weekends
-i love bowling leagues. We're getting better, me, nikko, mike, marianne, bryan.
-working out and eating good is hard in the winter
-shopping online at work passes the time pretty well. Got a bowling ball, bowling shoes, bag and tape, polo jacket, and some kobe V's
-rockets and texans are hurting me
-fantasy football is a little more fun this year cause only four teams go to the playoffs. Picked up some season saviors peyton hillis and jacob tamme, but dropped number two and whatever high ranking recievers brandon lloyd and maclin, also dropped number one kicker akers
-our united team is back to being good. Third overall only by like a point differential of 8 points, there's like 12 people on the team now, so I don't feel as bad missing games like this past week when I woke up at 3 and our game was at 9. Had a wedding the night before.
-jessica's been really busy since everything's due at the end of the semester which is on monday. This is going to be a record 5 and a half days without seeing each other when I see her tonight, if she's lucky
-probably getting a new car early next year, but I'm gonna get ripped off cause I hate haggling
- work is cushy, hence, blogging this whole thing on my phone, I wonder if they will let me do this forever, but I'm still pretty new, five months.
-my parents make me feel bad for my bill every month. Fill up on gas every week, probably like 80 on tolls for the month. I guess it's all food and drinks. Rent is fine since it goes to people I know. I just feel like the reason you're putting money in other places is because you budgeted for expenses. And they were the ones that told me how much to have leftover to spend. Whatevs. But also my dad told me to get a car and to not be like him cause he never got himself nice things
-found out I love double partying days. Our friend has this lake house, and it's pretty bomb. Played beer pong, cornhole, and volleyball. I also found out what jess was talking about when she thinks it's fun when she's a hit in front of all her friends cause I was killin it in front of all these strangers, hope they don't ever read this. Anyway, partied there for like 5 hours, and when we got back it was only 7! Took a nap cause we were really drunk and set alarm for 9 to get ready to go out at night. Woke up at 11 and partied, I woke up before jessica and comtemplated if I should wake her and party or go back to sleep for the rest of the night. You know what it is


Tonight we're goin hard hard har ha ha hard - ke$ha

Weekend Recap

Last Friday Philip and I went to get dollar beers at Sherlocks after work. Got two beers from the Puerto Rican bartender who I asked if he was Indian the first time he served us. Both dart boards were taken up so we were forced to make conversation with each other. We made up some jokes on the spot and they're all really bad. I can only remember a few:

So a guy walked up to the bar and the bartender was like, "How'd you do that with no stairs?"
What do you call beer-poo? Bar stool.
What did one beer say to the other when he lost his keys? Don't worry I have Dosequis.
A boy buffalo asked his dad what he was as his dad was dying, but all the dad buffalo had time to say was, "bye son."

After that a dart board opened up. We played for a bit and then went back to my place to wait for Sam to come over so we could go to Brit John's house for a mini-party. Mini-party turned out to be pretty fun. Someone donated a bunch of jello shots so we made the losers of paper, rock, scissors take one. John said he had corn-hole, but it was a miniature set which was weak 'cause it's so much harder to make those in. Losers took jello shots. Four girls who none of us really knew showed up and I think certain guys had dibs on a couple of them. Brit John and one of the girls got locked in his room cause his lock broke and we tried to free them. Her drunk friends were freaking out about it and thought something bad was happening to her. C'mon, no way. Everyone went up to the roof to look at the stars or whatever and I went back down to go to the bathroom and then I couldn't find my way back up again so I gave up. Heard Sam was straight pimping up there. We left and the next morning Sam couldn't find his phone, but it was ok because they were in the backseat of my car. But then he couldn't find his shoes but that's ok because the grass on on his socks was evidence that he didn't wear them home and left them at Brit John's house.

Saturday morning we had pho like usual and hung out for a little bit before Philip and I realized we were exhausted. Took a huge nap until 5:30P when I had to get up to get ready for a wedding which I was getting picked up for at 6:00. Ready in no time. Aike was my date since Philip denied my invitation a month earlier. The wedding was really swanky. Chinese girl + Jewish guy at Hotel ZaZa. They did the chair lifting and the glass breaking. Groom fell out of his chair 'cause the guys were too weak to carry him. Went back home and Philip was still there watching TV. He did a marathon of Always Sunny and The League. We both made togas out of my bedsheets in 10 minutes and were out the door and on our way to a party ranch which was really far away. Good thing Andy picked us up. He had Sam's shoes in his car, but of course we forgot to get them. The party was pretty cool. We pulled up and some old white guy was standing outside looking mean. We drove by him and and Wendy tried to ask him a question, but he was like, "Let me speak to the driver!" He turned out to be the party overseer and gave us a VIP spot. We got there kind of late so we had to catch up with the partiers. Lots of people were there and they had a photobooth set up which we took advantage of after we got tipsy. Philip doesn't remember much.

Sunday was super chill day/night. Had lunch with Wendy and Andy and ran into half of the people at the toga party which is funny because when we woke up, Philip put on his toga again and said he was going to wear it to lunch. But since we decided to go to an asian restaurant instead of Free Birds, he thought no one would get it, so he took it off. Too bad, cause everyone at that restaurant would have gotten it if he wore it anyway. Watched all of the Always Sunny's available on OnDemand and all of The Leagues. Both good. Lean night.

Philippines 2010: Part 1

The Gaddis went again for the third time in two years for kuya jofre and ate mye's wedding on 10/10/10. I'm gonna try to break down the trip from my point of view.

Friday:

We get there at night after leaving thursday morning because of the airplane time machine. Starting to be tradition to go to Nomu right when we get there to meet up all the cousins. It's a small bar that my cousin part owns, and we meet most of the cousins there with some of their friends. We take over the vip room upstairs, and we take lots of shots and drink lots of beer. All the girls peace out, and we go to heartbeat. Everyone gets super drunk, and the girls are ugly. We get burger king, which becomes a recurring theme, and they wouldn't let us back into ate dianne's condo. We sleep at kuya jofre's, and I get a migraine and kick kuya jofre all night.

Saturday:

Kuya allen wakes us up to take us home so they can do stuff for the wedding. We're super hungover, and kuya russell stays to buy a suit for the wedding. Me and bryan just go to sleep when we get to the condo. We get ready to go to kalumpit where kuya tong and his brother's live. The condo doesn't have hot water, but the pressure and flow are good. Tita claire's house is super duper hot. She's kuya tong's mom and tito fred's wife. Kuya tong keeps wanting us to drink, but me and my brother are too hungover. We stay there all day, and everyone just keeps napping in the air conditioned rooms while I nap twice out in the living room and be soaking with sweat. We finally are all up, and we start drinking some beer while listening to kuya bong's cd's. He's a councilman and kuya tong's brother, so he has a jingle from his campaign. It's a parody of nobody but you by the wondergirls. Another cd we hear is a bunch of acoustic covers of pop songs from lady gaga and others, so we ask kuya bong's wife to burn us some. Time to leave and then party. Gets kinda late when we finally get to metrowalk to meet up kuya russell with kuya jofre and his family and the chicago people. On the way in, we see kuya russell walking out ballin it up. He says he's coming back. Everyone left before we got there, so we tried to party at aruba, just me, bryan, marianne, ate nicole, ida, and kuya rex. We get kuya jofre and them to come back baby. Party time. At least that's what it felt like to me, but it could have just been me kuya rex and fel. We met her chinese boyfriend for the first time there. She one upped me cause I didn't bring my chinese girlfriend, just my filipina one. Joke lang. We go to burger king, and kuya rex tries to order 2 of everything, but end up getting like 2 of 3 of the value meals. Me and him eat almost all of it. I get another migraine and throw up in the sink. Boom.

Weights

So not so much strength training anymore cause my basketball league started again. Plus my schedule is getting full after work.

Sundays:
- Morning game for league after drinking all weekend.
- Evening ball with jessica's friends.

Mondays:
- Maybe bball practice with united at night.
- If no practice, then I want bowling here cause I want to go at least once a week.

Tuesdays:
- Tennis with my dad. Guilting me into it, but I also want to get unrusty.

Wednesdays:
- This is when I hope jason makes practice cause basketball gets all jumbled up on sundays and mondays. Sometimes we have scrimmages with other teams on wednesdays like tonight.
- If no practice, I want bowling here.
- If no bowling, finally get to workout, prob upper body cause legs are tired from all the sports.

Thursdays:
- Work out
- Hang out with jessica
- Maybe bowl, prob darts and such.

Fridays:
- Work out
- Party time.

Weekend Recap

Friday:

After work, I went to jessica's house to go for happy hour or dollar beers. When I got there, I couldn't find my wallet and hoped that it was just at my brother's house. Jessica's is 23 minutes away without traffic, so there goes happy hour and dollar beers.. We get to my brother's and decide to play call of duty for shots, with a handicap of course, even though jessica's kinda good for a girl that doesn't play. (I'll take that.) So it was a half shot of vodka every time she killed me, and a half shot for every four times I killed her. Sucked because she always got 2-4, but it was a little tough to get 12 and then 16. (I actually got 5 kills one time. Felt so good.) Plus everytime I looked at the kill cam, it was just her sweeping the dumb gun across the screen and luckily getting the crosshairs on me. (Sweeping across the screen but in the vicinity of where you are, so to me, that's called aiming. And then killing you means I aimed it good.)

Anyway, didn't even want to go to my room and not find my wallet. Just hoping it would be right on my bed where my jeans were laying. Not there. Luckily, I remember taking a dump, and there it was right in front of the toilet. I guess when my pants got crumpled down, it pushed the bottom of the wallet up and out of the pocket, cool story. (That's how two of my old cell phones dropped in the toilet. One time it was at Mason Jar when I was high school. The other time was at the club, cause you never bring purses to clubs. Oh and another time I dropped my cell phone into my bowl of pho. I forgot who witnessed that one, but it happened.)


We left to go to some place called Zimm's or something for jessica's friend jill's birthday. It's an older people's loungey place, and we're there with a bunch of jessica's classmates. (I like that place a lot. The patio is the bomb during the fall and the spring. I had an un-birthday party there a couple of years ago with my neighbor, Maria.) Andy and wendy come and tell us to go to union bar where their friend's birthday is. Oh yeah, we played b spike at Zimm's, and I beat up jessica. (Games like that are fun to me. I love when people forget and then when they see the fist coming at them, they get that frozen face with big eyes and go, "spike!spike!spike!")I remember in middle school, this kid on the bus got whooped up. The kind where you just see him sink down further and further into the seat while three guys are just punching downward like in the movies.
We get the birthday girl to agree to union, but change of plans to bronx bar in rice village. Just remember seeing asian and filipino people, and a girl looking for her 100 dollar earring. I thought I found it in a crack, but she just kept telling everyone that it was gone and knocked muy hands away when I was trying to pick it up, your loss. Sam came all late, and was mad that jenn came to be boring, busted.
Went with and and wendy and their friends to one of the guys' houses to eat our banh mi and jack in the box, which was the second time that night that I got jack in the box. It was all guys and just wendy and jessica. Then they started watching this asian girl that they all love who's a professional pole dancer, and jessica just kept saying how weird it was that this was happening. (Philip is making this sound like they were watching an actual girl pole dancing in their living room or something. No, it was on YouTube. We were all sitting around watching YouTube videos of a girl pole dancing to weird music. I was a little weirded out and kept saying so. Not my idea of a fun after party, but it was my fault 'cause I wanted to go so bad.) The end.

Saturday:
Jessica's mom's birthday. So they had lunch and a surprise party at night with a stripper. She can talk about that, and how she fell in love. (I didn't plan the stripper. Her friends did. They asked me to stay late at the party and slipped a bunch of dollar bills into my hand. I'm really nervous 'cause I'm with a bunch of my mom's friends and their husbands. Later in the night we hear the doorbell and a cop walks in and says that one of the cars in the driveway came up in a hit and run that day. He said the license plate #, and my mom starts freaking out and blaming my dad for it. The cop says he needs to ask her some questions and pulls out a chair and makes her sit it in. (Such a typical stripper set up.) My mom starts figuring things out 'cause my dad is in a corner taking pictures of this whole thing. Stripper pushes play on his boombox and does his thing. Flips down and does some push-ups while his legs are around my mom's neck. Chases all the women around and flings them over his shoulders and slaps their butts. All the husbands are in a corner watching. All the ladies are covering their faces and hoping he doesn't come after them. I say I'm underage so he doesn't touch me. They continued to party and I left to meet Philip.) I eat lunch at whataburger with sam cause he left his car at rice. I'm thinkin' I have united practice in the afternoon, so I get the barbecue cheddar burger meal plus two chicken strips with gravy. Third fast food meal in a row.

Go back to jessica's and hang out with her till practice, but hang out means I play protector IV tower defense. Practice canceled, so we hang out some more before her mom's gross stripper party that jessica planned. (I get so bored when he plays that stupid game. It forces me to surf the net which sucks on weekends 'cause I'm on the computer ALL week. I make him hang out with me for real which means we just lay around and talk about life. So deep.) Dennis came in from college station for practice, but it gets moved to sunday. I play some more tower defense after jessica leaves before I go over to sam's to play madden and pre drink.
When I try to get to sam's place at these west university apartments, where he just moved into the day before, he tells the me apt number like fifty times, but I keep forgetting. The security guard asks me for the number and I just say 12305 even thoush it's 12304, doesn't matter cause sam isn't even on the list cause he just moved in. He just tells me that he can't help me get around cause he doesn't know where sam is, and he just let's me and says to call sam, duh. He's a goofy white guy. I call sam and he tells me where to park and the hallway to walk into. I walk into the hallway and find 12305 and knock. No one answers, so I call sam. He tells me it's 12304, so I knock on that with no answer. I call him and tell him I'm outside. I'm actually not cause I'm knocking on 14305 and 14304 the whole time. I walk outta there super fast before someone comes out. Finally make it to 12304. We go to specs and chick fil a whike waiting for dennis to come. Fourth fast food meal in a row. He gets to sam's way faster than we expect with chick fil a taking longer than expected. When we finally get back to sam's, dennis is sitting outside the door with a sweat mark on his chest cause he waited for like 20 minutes, probably peed on his shirt thinking it was jess' couch. Got'em coach. We start playing call of duty for shots of crown, but the handicaps are too ridiculous so we kept changing them during the games. Dennis was the worst, but the learning curve for him was the fastest cause he never played, so his handicaps were too high and kept beating us. We moved to madden mini games of benching and the 40 yard dash. Domination, it's like what were other kids doing while my family was gaming? Playing outside or something? Yeah, right.

Leslie and jessica come over, and we all do normal pre drinking. Oh yeah something funny that happened was that sam spilled a coke back and a crown shot all over his white wall. What's funny is that I always joke about going over to sam's place to trash it cause we alwyays trashed dennis' house in college station, but dennis doesn't even have to trash sam's cause sam will do it himself. Noob. We go to boondocks and see every uh fsa person ever there. Don't remember anything weird happening except that we lost leslie. I spent like 10 or 15 minutes trying to find her after finally getting all these girls off dennis and sam. We find out that she took a cab and went home. Guess she didn't want to be a party pooper and make everyone leave cause of her.
We go to wendy's to hang out, and everyone's acting dumb. All she has to eat are strawberry flavored chinese cheetos and those pocky sticks. Anyway, I tried to put on jessica's slipper, and we start talking about that cool look when guys have to walk outside really quick, but the only slippers around are really girly ones and the heels are all hanging out the back and they're barely on the toes. Money. (Usually he has socks on too, and that looks even better.)

Sunday:
Football! Get up kinda early to go wash clothes and watch football at my brother's house. They went to louisiana. Plus, the us open men's championship between nadal and jokeavic. Freaking foster beat the colts by himself, but anyone can do what he did with the kind of blocking we did. Jessica falls asleep cause she's boring. (That must be a typo. He meant I fell asleep 'cause I was bored.) Basketball practice moved to monday, take that dennis. Then I get invited by jess' friends to play basketball at 5. (I like when my friends like Philip. Makes me feel like I got a good one. Drew kept yelling out "Kid-kid!" when Philip made a shot.)Good exercise, but so many weird people and overly competitive people. Scared to do or say anything. Went to a vietnamese rice plate after, super good bo luc lac. Went to emerald bowl after that for dollar games, shoes, hot dogs, and drinks. Bought three games cause my arm usually gets tired by then, and I tried working on my form but it made my scored suck. I've been spending most of my time at work looking up bowling tips and techniques. Found more on monday that I want to try out. Anyway, I couldn't leave without getting a 200 to continue my streak of getting at least one everytime I bowl with my new ball. Bowled at 224 with that last game, so the streak is at 3. Can't wait to go again. (Philip's goal is 200, mine is 100 and I got over a hundred twice. I keep watching other girls bowl so I can learn how to do it better, but it's not helping.)

weekend recap

Can't remember friday, help please Jessica.

Ok, I'll help.

I had dinner plans with Jolene and Tracy, a friend of Jolene's from high school who moved to California. She was visiting Houston and I'm pretty sure Jolene just didn't want to go alone. Dinner was planned for 8:30. So late. Who does that? Dinner was at Kaneyama on Westheimer. Their ramen sucks and was twice as expensive than Nippon, whose ramen is SO GOOD. Tracy's friends were young; they talked about gummy bear tattoos behind their ears and fighting people at First Colony Mall outside of Bui-Yah-Kah. You can laugh, I did. I bet I'll get beat up if they ever come upon this blog. One of the girls was Filipino and so I name dropped Philip and Paguio and she said she knew Marianne and Bryan and Pauline and Carmen. So really, she name dropped. (Philip made me Facebook search her to see if he knew her, but he didn't.) I called Philip to come over after dinner and he took forever 'cause he was playing Catan and he's, "Lemme call you back" - all fast and stuff. Wendy comes over and then Philip shows up and we meet Nikko in Rice Village. He's at Bronx Bar, which is never our top choice, but we go anyway. Philip tells me to order vodka and gives me his card. Out of sheer habit I say, "Four shots of Goose chilled, please." He never went out with me when I used to do it up big, so he got mad when he got the bill. Philip loves rap and listening to songs about popping Rose and lemon Lamborghini's, but when it comes to vodka I now know he likes it from the plastic bottles. I'm about to get beat up a second time.

Philip left out the best part about Saturday. He finally met my parents. My mom needed me to take her dog to the vet because she was out for a dance rehearsal (older Chinese parents do ballroom dancing). Philip comes with me and we go to the vet and then take Cooper back to my parent's house. I didn't think for a second that my parents would come home anytime soon so we just kind of hung out for a minute. Philip needs to take a dump so he does and while he's doing that I call my mom to tell her about the vet visit. She's like, "Oh! We're pulling up to the house. Is your "friend" with you?" I freak out and I'm like, "Mommmm! Nooooo! We're not ready!" She says if that's the case, she'll wait in the car and we can slip out the back and meet her when we're actually ready for it. I thought that was ridiculous, so I tell her to just come in, but to give us a couple of minutes because Philip is taking a dump. She yells out to her friend in the car, "Ha ha! He's taking a dump!( In Chinese.)" Philip is sweating balls when I tell him what's happening and we walk outside just as they're getting out of the car and it's my mom, my dad and her friend Georgina. Philip is wearing a t-shirt, basketball shorts and Sperry's. Super cool guy. We make small talk and Philip is adorable; trying to explain the vet visit and stuff. We leave and I call my mom on the drive home and I ask her what she thinks. She says "So handsome" and her friend in the background is going, "Hot! Hot! Hot! (In Chinese)" Whatever. Philip thinks he's the cats pajamas right now. So yeah, that was the first time they have ever met Philip...15 months later.

Now, onto fixing Philip's typos below.

Saturday:

Ran some errands. Eye exam at the chinese place Jessica goes to on Bellaire. Not such a good selection on frames. Hopefully the ones I chose are fine. I have to wait a week cause I have vsp, but the doctor didn't know that I had vsp and had already thrown my contacts away during the exam. My current glasses are messed up because I tried to straighten them at one of the nose pieces. I always break my glasses by doing that. I might be ocd, and I've also been doing a little beat with my mouth after every burp. please verify, Jessica.

Then we prayed at my parents house, which was the 7th day out of 9 for the novina for Tito Fred. At night was supposed to be a get fancy club night with Jessica and her girlfriends, but I purposefully did not bring a collared shirt, and luckily so did Drew. In the words of timmy from Rock Band, "It's sabotage!" Anyway, people start coming over, including sam and his cousin conrad. Everyone pre drinks, and it's Ello time. I always say as long as you're buzzed before you go anywhere, it should be fine. No exception here. Everyone sees a bunch of asian people they know because every asian in houston was there. Bouncer wouldn't let me in cause I was wearing a t shirt and chucks. It's either one or the other he says. As me and jess go back to the car to get some other shoes, he's like "if you wanna take care of me then whatever whatever." I'm thinking you're a loser I don't want to take care of you. We come back and go to the vip bouncer anyway cause raymond has a table. He tells me I need a collared shirt next time. Yeah yeah.

When we get back to jessica's, people drink some more. All I can remember today is that I ate a bunch of leftovers like pizza and mongolian beef, which I only know because of empty boxes with onions on the floor and pizza sauce on my pants. The other thing I remember is that conrad bumped the freaking dart board and the whole thing came crashing down. I built it with my bare hands, and now it's broken.

Sunday:

Wendy wakes us up because she wants the keys to jessica's car to drive down the street to her house. It's a 2 to 3 minute walk, but anyway woke us up to find the keys. Conrad stares at me while I'm walking around in my underwear and says, "hey, let me see the dart board." I bring it out to him, and then go back to sleep. I hear lots of noise in the middle of me and jess' sleeping. When we wake up for real, everyone is gone. And bomm, (that's French for "boom") the darts board cabinet and everything is back up. Upon further inspection, they fixed how I would have not, but at least I don't have to do it for a while. Thanks conrad (sarcastic) for breaking my junk. Thanks conrad (not sarcastic) for fixing it.

Jessica and I go to a pool party. Sounds like a children's book. Anyway, richard and anne host it, and we get there before everyone, including richard and anne. Pool parties are pretty fun, hung around didn't drink that much cause I knew we had prayer. Then beer bong guy shows up. People always try to get me to drink more because I'm the youngest whenever I hang out with jessica's friends. It happens just like frank the tank in old school. I keep resisting. Then I finally cave, "I'll do one." "He gon' do one!" "Once it hits your lips, it's just so good."

We finally leave after a million hours to go to mr. v's for prayer. Me and Jessica are pretty drunk. Jessica goes to sleep for the rest of the night, and I win poker and be obnoxious all night. Then I get a migrane while trying to sleep on allyse's bed. Hurts sooooooo bad. I go to the bathroom to take a dump, but after I take a dump, I make myself throw up in the sink because the toilet is all stinky. Now it's like the dumb and dumber scene with jeff daniels in the bathroom. I clogged the sink with my throw up. I thought I had more time because they were playing catan, but everyone was leaving and my brother started calling me. I'm all rushing and using my hanf (he's going German now) as a plunger and shoveling water and throw up out of the sink and into the tup with a cup (coolest rhyme ever) I found under the sink. I'm pretty sure I did a good job because the water was all gone and I don't remember seeing any chunks anywhere. I bet they found out the next day though. Bryan tries to drive my car back to his house, and I just keep looking at tita standing there. Me and Jessica leave cause my migrane is pretty much gone, and then I fall asleep on the couch. It's so hard to get up from the couch to go to bed even though you keep saying yeah I'll be there in a second, hold on. Overall, a good day and night. -kid cudi. Psyche.

Monday:

Party time cause it's labor day. Cept I don't feel so good. I'm pretty sure we just ate lunch and went to my parents house for last day of prayer. Oh yeah, we went to hootersan (that Japanese restaurant with boobs and wings) and since it was labor day, we ordered ten wings and got ten for free. We were staring so bad so got appetizers too. (I will kill Philip for staring at Hootersan)I thought I was gonna kill it, but we ended up taking more than ten wings home. I guess my stomach wasn't ready after the day before. Prayer and then catan all day. Marianne and shara want to do something fun like shop and junk or dress up and go eat somewhere nice cause they were sad or something. It was all weird cause they're girls and I'm trying to play tower defense protector IV. The go to Ra happy hour. Guys play catan. Me and jess go home cause she has homework. I find out the next day that nikko kuya rex bryan and chris played catan all night at my brothers. I didn't feel good anyway. We need to keep stats of everytime people lose and win.

Just spent the first hour and a half at work typing this out on my phone.

http://vimeo.com/11469465

Lord of All Catan

We've been playing this old board game that's new to our family called Settlers of Catan. The game takes hours and sucks hard when you're losing. Makes you be really sad and mad at everyone else. I bet if someone tape recorded our games we'd laugh really hard later at the things we're saying.

Anyway I just wanted everyone to remember how I three peated for the second time last night with two glorious victories in the cities and knights expansion over nikko, bryan, and kuya rex. Sheep rich the first time and wheat rich the second time my friends. GG.

Week 3

8/30 Squats: 215 lbs (5,5,5,5) some not low enough
Pull ups: (7,5,4)
8/31 Bench: 135 lbs (8,8,7) still trying to do 12 reps
9/1 Squat Jumps: 95 lbs (5,5,5,5)
9/2 Press: 65 lbs (12,9,10,6,12,11) longer rests only reason I got back up to 12
9/3 Squat: 145 lbs (10,10,10,10) work on form and build endurance
Pull ups: (7,5)

week 2

8/23 Squat: 205 lbs (5,5,5) technique sucks, front of my hips still hurt sometimes
Pull ups: (7,5) just going to failure
8/24 Bench: 125 lbs (12,10,7,7)
Rim jumps alternate hands: (10)
8/25 Powercleans: Just tried them, I suck at them.
8/26 Squat Jumps: Read about them at work and thought they were better for jumping than power cleans. 95 lbs
8/27 Press: 65 lbs (12,10,8)
Pull ups: (5,5,5)

Do Re Mi

Usually when I send emails with videos to friends and family, my messages are short and sweet just as my mom does. But they usually go something like, "Watch this video." Here's my mom's message for this video of 3 boys singing opera.






Dear YoYo,


O~~So~ Lo~ Mi~ O~~~

Love,
Mom

week 1

Starting to track weights

Squat 8/17: 205 lbs (5,5)
Press 8/18: 65 lbs (12,8,8)
Deadlift 8/19: 155 lbs (5,5)
Bench 8/20: 125 lbs (10,8,6)

I was trying to do 3 work sets of 5 reps on squat and deadlift, then try to do them at max velocity after I get good at them for power.

Then I was trying to do 3 work sets of at least 12 reps for the press and bench.

blackberry spellcheck

I wish my parents were email fob

I tried to text this to jessica, but it made me say:

I wish my parents were email job

Weekend Recap

Friday:
Went for dollar beers after work at sherlock's in river oaks. People who came were me, jessica, nikko, sam, dennis, christine, mona, and kimberly. Started at 7 and was a long night. We play a bunch of darts, I love dollar beers, and I got stabbed in my left nipple. Jessica came late because she had practice for a fashion show she was gonna be in on saturday because she's a model.
We left at 9 something to go play beer pong at pearl bar, which worked. Usually never works cause we always plan to go early to get a table, but never make it. Anyway, dennis' mom calls him at jess' house, and he tells her he's coming home soon. Psych. He comes with us. Beer pong sucks outside, but me, sam, and christine win anyway. These losers wanted to play next, like always. Boring.
I tell jessica to go get beer with wendy so we can play board games, and we'll meet them. I guess I was drunk cause I didn't know no one else wanted to do that, but by then jess already left, and me and sam have no ride. Jessica gets mad that I tricked her, so I get a double jack on the rocks. We go to the Lot and I don't remember anything cept that jessica came back to save us.
When we wake up, it looks like we made really messy crepes the night before. Also, that cookie cake jessica brought to all my birthday dinners that no one touched for like a week and a half, someone touched it I guess, cause there was blue and green icing all over the floor. Crazy kids.

Saturday:
Super hungover. Parents are on a cruise, so no church, but freaking jessica has to leave at 230 for the fashion show and doesn't get out till 10. I want to have fun, but no one's doing anything. On all the other weekends I'm all squeezed for time to do a bunch of fun stuff like pool parties and junk, but when I finally have time, nothing. So I play bloons for a while at jessica's until I just go back to my brother's to play call of duty until party time for jonas' birthday.
Surprised to see nikko there cause I forgot he passed out at jess' the night before, but went to my bro's to pick up a laptop for his dad. Anyway, call of duty time. I'm addicted right now, but life is getting in the way, I need to be dead. We end up playing 3 games of monopoly. I win one, and I'm on the way to my second victory when my brother gets all hot at the craps table, I'll show him hot craps. I don't know why I get so mad playing monopoly and losing, I wish I didn't, but it's better than playing with people who don't care, I think. Anyway, nikko gets last all three times, and gay bryan wins two.
Party time at jonas'. Nikko goes to poker, bryan has a huge club party to go to that everyone's gonna be at, and your a square if you're not there. Million dollar song right theah! Jess is at the fashion show, so I'm ridin solo, I'm ridin' solo. I'm still hungover. Whenever nikko tried, yeah I said tried, to play call of duty after losing in monops, it would make me really dizzy. I get to jonas' and drink water for a while cause I don't feel good. A bunch of current philsa people are there and they started early. Jason's all super red, but jonas doesn't seem drunk, and never actually does the whole night I was there. Me and dennis don't even play a single game of beer pong, but jason keeps organizing 20 people games of flip cup, where you have to do certain actions before drinking. Girls had to get on one knee and head bob 3 times. Guys had to spin and lick the air 3 times. Richard came and got super lucky and beat me and dennis in pool cutthroat.
The plan was to use jonas' as the pre party and to leave whenever jessica got out, but jessica texts me that she's done right as I'm walking to the house from my parking spot. I tell her we're gonna stay a bit cause I just got there, and dennis and richard aren't even there yet. I feel bad, but then she goes to the strip club anyway cause she's mad. Strip club's name is glitter. Dennis and I try to figure out where to go, or to even go anywhere at all cause we're still at jonas' at 1215. We decide to just go to the lot even though he wants to go to boondocks to see his boyfriend really bad. I say ok let's go, but he doesn't want to feel the wrath of jessica who's at the lot cause chris picked her up from the strip club to meet up jade and her brother at the Lot. We tell mona we're going there. Me and dennis drop off my car at jess', and don't get to the Lot till 140, but we have a secret weapon. We took some gross vodka from jonas' house and put it in a water bottle, disgusting. I tell jessica to get ush a chaser to mix it with, and we get a cokeback. Coke and vodka, never heard of it? After party at jess' with mona, stef, dennis, me and jessica. Nothing interesting, dennis' parents call like always, and party's over.

Sunday:
Lunchtime at sandong snacks on bellaire cause dennis went to church in sugarland. Jessica likes to call it santong. Get there and dennis is wearing the same thing as the night before and looks red. Embarrassing. Imagine I said that like the guy from the big three celtics espn commercial where they're wearing their uniforms in the office, and the guys are making fun of them cause they called each other the night before to match the next day. Anyway, it seemed pretty good, but coulda been better if jessica knew me better and got what I liked. Say something. Thought so. How does it feel to be so close to the sun?
Me and jessica go to memorial city mall to watch dinner for schmucks. Genuinely thought it was gonna be wack, with some extra downhyping, it turned out to be funny. forgot that we went to tap house after lunch until I remembered that we also got dibs and a large icee at the movie, what a good diet. Walked around the super crowded mall, and then went to 99 ranch across the highway for some sushi to make at home. It's the bomb. We on demand hot tub time machine, and I laugh out loud a few times in the first third, but then I'm not really sure what happened, maybe just wasn't as funny anymore. Didn't downhype enough.

The end. I typed the friday recap on my phone in the bathroom at work.

Weekend Update

What's so cool about weekend updates again? Oh yeah, our future selves are supposed to enjoy it. I honestly haven't gone back and read any old posts about our weekends, but I guess I'm not future enough yet.

A couple of weekends have gone by before an update so I'll try to summarize real quick. Philip's birthday passed already. He's 24 now. I told him to keep aging and told myself to stop; that way one day we can be the same age. That would be cool. People came over the weekend before his actual birthday and we had some shots at my place then went to The Lot. Again. I think I'm officially done with that place. Wendy and I rode with Philip's friend Johnny and he backed up into a car while getting out of my driveway. No sweat, we will continue to party. Philip, Sam, Dennis, Eli, _____, ______ and ______ met us up there. Nikko and Mona passed out(or so they say. oOOOoOo.) on my couch before midnight. Bryan, Marianne and Rex left after their photo-booth session. I don't remember much from The Lot except that this short Vietnamese guy kept showing us his tattoos and saying he was part of some Wa Ching gang. No clue. We indulged him by fake-caring, but really we were mocking him hardcore. What are real-life gangsters doing at The Lot anyway? They should be at The Roxy.

Saturday I didn't really get to hang out with Philip. We had lunch w/ Gerry, Mona, Sam and Nikko at Freebirds and Same passed out at the table. Philip went to church and then Nikko's and I went home to take a nap before going to my friend Firas' "surprise" birthday party. It wasn't a surprise because Wood forgot to hide the mixers he bought for the party. Wood played bartender all night and made martinis that were really stinking good. I think he used Absolut Acai + sugar water + lemon juice + blueberries and mint. I told him to name it and he said, "Deep Throat". So typical. We went to Meteor where you can watch men shower on-stage and then took the party bus to JR's.

Fast forward. On Tuesday we went to CiCi's for Philip's 1st birthday dinner and then met up my friends at Baker Street. On Wednesday we went to Tokyo One with Philip's family for his 2nd birthday dinner and then went to D and B to meet up his friends. Philip and Dennis played basketball on the tall hoops and made someone behind me said, "Wow, they're good together." I documented that so he can feel cool about himself one day. Oh yeah, and the skee ball machine makes me so mad 'cause it never keeps score correctly. Someone needs to write to the headquarters like Ben Stiller does in Greenberg. Anyway, we play a million games and we win a million tickets and then we headed to Woodrow's. I wore heels all day and my feet were killing me to the point where it felt like there were knives in my shoes, but Mona had extra shoes so I borrowed those so I could continue to party. "Hi my name is Jessica and I like to party."

The following Friday we met up with Philip's new work-friend, Tanner and his girlfriend at Sherlock's. Dollar beers baby. We invited them to Donna's birthday at Dry Creek, which is really dry, but it's BYOB to make up for it. Beer pong against his co-workers at Pearl Bar after that and then drove allll the way out to Westchase to go to Brenda's skate party. Philip was thirsty and opened a bottle of water and chugged it all fast. Too bad it was vodka. Drove allll the way back to Washington and finished up the night there. Philip got mad at me for the usual and I got mad that he was mad that I was mad at him for being mad at me and then stayed mad for being mad. Like a dream within a dream within a dream's dream. Keeps things spicy.

On Saturday we went to Donna's 2nd birthday party at Pattie's pool. We didn't plan on going hard at all, but the shots kept coming and the beer was flowing. What can you do? Have fun is the answer. Had to cut the party short because Philip had birthday dinner #3 at Lucky Village with his entire family. We thought we were late, but we pulled up right as Marianne, Bryan and Philip's mom were getting there. After dinner we actually had a lean night. Took a power nap and woke up at 12:30 AM. We were so confused, cause it was a Saturday, and we don't waste Saturday nights. We ended up going to his brother's house to set up his new gift- a new 40" TV. Lucky. Watched Psych and Pirate Radio until the sun came up. Lean.

reverse post about ebc

Just typed out on my phone a huge awesome best post ever about engineering boot camp, but when I clicked publish it asked for me to log in, and then it brought back to an empty text box.

Interview Blues

So I don't know if I want to write about all my interviews since every one I've been on has been a bust. I always feel really good about it, and then comes the dreaded email: "blah blah blah you're too good for us blah blah blah."

On Friday I had an interview at Brand Extract, a marketing and ad agency next to the Aston Martin dealership. Ballin'! I got the lead from my friend Alyson and it turned out to be a random, last minute interview. I emailed my portfolio to them on Thursday afternoon and on Friday they asked me to come in at 4pm. The receptionist was listening to her ipod and had a bunch of lanyards of different colored paper cutouts of fish taped to her desk. She asked me if I wanted a drink. "Yes please. A beer." Fake laughing and then silence.

The laid-back atmosphere is exactly the environment that I've imagined myself working in. The group who interviewed me were all so cool with each other, like they had been friends for a really, really long time- telling each other to shut-it and making fun of each others' drinking abilities. They told me they have "Beerfest Fridays" or something like that. Totally my kind of company. Oh man, I'm getting sad right now 'cause I feel desperate for this job. Anyway, they gave me a lot of good pointers and we discussed my work. They said I needed some more commercial/corporate pieces and then the chief designer asked me which of my pieces I thought was the weakest. So then I pointed at the one I thought was the weakest. Then he said "WRONG! You never admit any of your pieces are weak!" Dang, he got me good. One of his colleagues said, "Wow, can't believe you fell for that." I got really hot and felt like my forehead was greasing over and then I felt an itchy-bump pop up on my chin, which is what happens when I get nervous or hot. Then I started getting really concerned about them seeing my itchy-bump and noticed myself using my pointer finger to cover it as I was talking to them. SO SMOOTH.

office happenings: New for real job

Started that new for real job at FMC Technologies on June 21st. After today, it will be 3 weeks. So far all I've done is study all the junk we make. Feels like school taught me one percent of this.

So I'll run through a typical day.

-Get here at like 8:03 and boot up computer, takes forever with the laptops they gave us.
-Start looking up on the internet on my phone. Download apps, look at cars I might get, play games on my phone, etc. Do all this while periodically looking in a binder with work stuff in it when I hear people walk by.
-Open up work stuff on my computer like the home FMC intranet page, Outlook, the softphone that goes with the bluetooth headset that no one uses, and some power point slides.
-Study for a little and play with my phone at the same time for the next few hours till lunch at 11:30.
-Take a dump between 830 and 10. Play with my phone in there until it there's no one else around, so I can come out. Also, listen to everyone explode into their toilets next to me.
-Lunch time until like 1230. Usually go to my brother's house to eat whatever they got, or go eat out with coworkers or jessica. My coworkers used to ask me everyday, but they figured out that I would say I'm just gonna eat at home unless it's wednesday, which is Wings n More day. First week, I never said no cause I was super new. It's not that boring to eat with them cause they're all only 1-3 years older than me.
-Come back at around 1230 and do the same thing until five that I was doing before lunch. I've spent a lot of time signing up and reading about my benefits and 401k and doing all these computer based trainings. Also, figuring out cool ways to use my phone, like blogging which took a while to figure out the best way to do it.

Today is actually the first day of engineering boot camp and starts at lunch. Maybe I'll talk about what it is after wards if I figure out what it is.

Perce!

Plastic runners video

So I wanted to include a video of the America's Funniest Videos' prank that I talked about in the last post. I googled "AFV pranks plastic runners" and one came up and I was sooooo happy someone else phrased it the exact same way.





I read straight to the bolded section and then when I looked at the title, I was very let down. Still can't find it.

Changes/Weekend Recap

This past week was SO RAINY. Hurricane Alex was en route to Mexico so we had to deal with some major tropical storm damage. Pouring rain, flooded streets, heat and humidity. Just a quick reminder of this week's setting.

So, on Thursday Philip came over around dinner time. (Haven't been seeing as much of each other since he started his job sooooo far away and lives at his brother's house soooooo far away.) Over the phone we planned on having Japanese food but Chris & Shara called and invited us to eat at Huynh's downtown which he said was BYOW. We're there. I was walking to the corner store to get two bottles when Philip pulled up to my house, so I made him walk with me. He was all disgruntled at the way I was holding the umbrella 'cause he was getting wet. I think people who are not holding the umbrella should have to keep up with the one holding it in order to make it work.

Huynh's was pretty good. Philip had the pho which I liked because it was heavy on the star anise (licorice flavor is what I like to call it). I had a charbroiled chicken rice plate which I thought tasted better at Pho Saigon. Two bottles of wine = not enough wine for 4 people. Shara didn't have to work the next day so we ended up going to her and Chris's house to have some bloody mary's. We woulda had some Sweet Tea, but it was a dummy bottle. Someone drank all of it and then refilled the bottle with soy sauce and water instead. So clever. Except my nose works so you can't fool me. Go ahead, insert big-nose-joke here. We played sing-star and I could only beat people when I harmonized with Philip and then we went to Glitter to continue the karaoking for a little bit.

On Friday Rex had a party at his house. He lives way out on the other side of the world too, so Philip just went there straight from his brother's house. I caught a ride with Chris and Shara and we decided to take 45 to the beltway which was THE WORST IDEA EVER. We were stuck in traffic for a straight hour because the feeder was completely flooded and cars were driving through the grass to come up onto the freeway. The whole time we were starving and we kept debating whether or not to exit and get some food. Texted Philip about what food was there and he said they ordered pizza which made my mouth water. When we got there I totally thought it was a pineapple pizza but it was grilled chicken. I'm pretty sure everyone got fooled by that too because statistically more people get pineapple pizza than chicken pizza, and that's a fact jack. Also, 48% of all statistics are made up. We played a lot of beer pong in Rex's garage with a million mosquitoes and million couches. His roommate is like the most useful roommate ever. He made a fan station to flow the A/C from inside the house to the garage and hooked up some speakers for music. But we didn't need either of those things to win the first 4 rounds of beer pong. Win! Win! Win! Philip thought he was such a funny guy that night. It was probably one of his career highs. My ride left me there at the end of the night so I had to beg Philip to give me a place to stay. Psych. More like the other way around.

Saturday. Philip, Bryan and Russell went to work out and left me and Marianne to do whatever we wanted. She took me around the northside and we went to The Container Store where Martha Stewart's biggest fans all work. That place makes you want to buy everything and makes you want to change your life. But man, every time you stopped to look at something a lady would walk up and have a story to tell you about why that thing is so awesome. It worked and I'm a sucker. I got talked into buying a thing that soaks up moisture in a room and collects it in a basin. What's embarrassing is that I talked it up like it was the best thing ever to Philip, hours after buying it. I'm pretty sure I'm returning everything that I bought from there. After that Marianne's like, "Wanna go to DSW to look at shoes?" Yesyesyesyesyeys. So many goodies so little money. Marianne was trying on these black heels and this old Mexican lady sitting near us was looking, so I gave her the thumbs up, like "yeahhh, she should buy them." Then she starts talking to us all fast and in Spanish and I know we have that wide-eyed, looking around nervously but laughing because we don't know what the hell she's saying look. But she just keeps on going. We kind of pretend to know and just talk back to her anyway. Maybe she doesn't have many people who want to talk to her. We get some Starbucks and go back to her house. Oh yeah, and I bought a pair of pink wedges on sale. We sit around and watch an hour of America's Funniest Videos "10 Best Pranks Edition" and it was so worth it. Favorites were: the plastic carpet runners with pointy side flipped up to unsuspecting guests, the one where one friend put an iguana on the other friend who is deathly scared of iguanas and the fake lotto ticket montage (so mean, but so funny). We went to Banana Republic so Philip could get work clothes since my brother works there and gets a discount (kinda, not really). When we walked into Banana, I waved into the security cameras because my friend Marcia's boyfriend Isaiah works in the Loss Control Department. Of course it worked, so he came down and we talked for a little bit. No one was stealing anything that day so he was super bored and was probably so extremely happy that he ran into two of the most interesting people in the world. We ate Taco Bell at the mall and it was unsatisfactory because they forgot the guacamole that we ordered. Did anything interesting happen at The Galleria? Probably not, I can't remember. After that Philip took me home and he went to Nikko's house to eat and I got ready to go to Mo and Abbas's going away party at Boheme's. They are moving to Seattle where it's just as rainy as it is today I guess. The party was fun and I loved the atmosphere. Bet it's the bomb in the spring-time because their patios are really nice. Left early so I could meet up Philip at my place to go to Pearl Bar where Mile's was celebrating his birthday. So many people came out that night! I invited my neighbor Adam to come with us and he did. I think he had a good time. Kept trying to buy shots for everyone which was cool. Oh yeah, and at the end of the night me and Philip got into a bad fight says everyone else. Supposedly he said he was going to kill me and I said "Ok, I'm dead." I don't know if that's true, but that's what Nikko said. I still remember having fun at the end of the night at my place though. Alter egos are cool.

Sunday was Philip's cousin's engagement party. Ate a bunch of food, played with a bunch of kids, realized how delicious jalapenos were, played the hand-slap game, got owned and sweated a lot. Walked to the park and pushed kids on swings for what felt like forever and then tried to get on the monkey bars. Philip made fun of my armpits so I scared him when there was a wasp nearby. He ran away. I win. After the engagement party we drove out to Katy to party at Nikko's house. I stopped by Jolene and Matt's (and baby Joseph's) new house since they live like one neighborhood away. So weird that my old partner in crime is now settled down with a fiance (fye-ance says Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona), a kid, two dogs and a house in the suburbs. We popped some fireworks and drank a beer just for festivities sake. While Philip and I were standing the driveway Joseph bragged to us that his dad was so strong that he could smush him back into a baby. That's pretty strong. We convinced Matt, Jo and Joseph to come back with us to Nikko's to drink and party. We popped way more fireworks and firecrackers (those things get addicting) and played beer pong and flip cup. Joseph made Philip play Pokemon cards with him because Philip is king of Japanese loser boy games: Digimon, Pokemom, Yugigoh, Bloons TD4.
After that we all went to Baker Street in Katy and the waitress was a total B. (Dumb waitress was being rude cause she's a loser, probably a bad day, but that just means she sucks at her job. Her and jessica got into it because jessica asked for a pitcher and the girl got rude. Then jessica purposely said out loud while she was standing behind her that she shouldn't be sucky to us because other people sucked to her. Also, she got joseph's order wrong twice, and he was the only one to order anything, and rolled her eyes. Joseph's thing is what started it. Anyway, I go to close my tab cause it's about to be uh... Girlfight. I mediate a little, and while I'm talking to her she's rubbing my back like I'm friends with her cause I'm the one with the tab. Loser. I slap her in the face a couple of times and she pays for the tab. Perce! Went back to nikko's and I ate the whole bag of hot cheetoh's that I was mad at them for having cause I knew I was gonna kill it later, and the rest came back with whataburger.)

Monday. Philip and I ran some errands at the bank and grocery store and then went to his Tito Boy's house. He's not really a boy, he's a grown man. We ate a bunch of leftovers from the engagement party and then I got really, really sleepy. Philip laughed at his little cousin Kate after she tried to sit on a stool and almost fell out. She got mad and ran up to him with a fist (a fist grasping a pen) pretending to stab him and then she got in trouble so she balled up and hid her face in a pillow for what seemed like forever. Diego wanted me to race paper airplanes with him so I did. I never learned any airplane folding techniques as a child, so I just make them up and make them symmetrical. Usually mine just plummet and don't do anything cool. I challenged Philip and he made one and we raced them and and mine fluttered and plummeted while his glided for a SECOND (been doing this my whole life). Took Chris back to his house and then we went to Kroger again to buy groceries to make healthy dinners for the week. Kroger's twice in one day. We had rotisserie chicken and spinach with a side of The Book of Eli. I thought that movie sucked "ball hairs". (Thought the movie was fine, aka fioooooooonnnee)



Jess/(Philip)

First blackberry post, baoss.

Weekend Recap/Boss Party

Almost skipped two whole weekends. Tsk tsk. There's no way I'm going to be able to recap everything that happened off the top of my head, so I'm just going to write about some of the highlights. This past weekend I threw Philip a party for getting his job at FMC Technologies. (I just googled the company after I typed that and whoa, I'm impressed.) The party was themed "Like a Boss" so you could come dressed like a boss or like a secretary. I was nervous about throwing a party at my place since my place is so tiny and I don't have real A/C. I think it turned out ok, but my memory of the actual party is pretty hazy. Made a dumb rule that everyone who walked in had to take a shot immediately, but didn't think about the consequences of me and Philip taking double the amount of everyone else. Philip was pretty much gone by 11 PM and the party only started at like 9:30-ish.

Oh yeah, before the party Philip didn't really have an outfit, so we went around looking for a bowtie. Target had none, Marshall's had none and TJ Maxx had the same exact crap that Marshall's had, so that was a failure too. Guess where we ended up getting a bowtie? Erotic Cabaret. We went in, and we're like, "Bowties?" The goth chick in lingerie showed us where they were, which was straight up in our face on the wall. We left and smelled like sex-store-incense for another hour.

Lots of people showed up at the party which was cool. People kept coming in and leaving in different groups. Some people came just to pre-party, some stayed for the whole party, and some came for the after party. All the liquor and beer were gone by 1 AM, so everyone started drinking the wine; pouring it in water bottles and stuff. Gross. So, everyone knows that when Philip gets drunk he likes to take off his shirt. Of course this happens (pretty early in the night too, 'cause he went so hard, so fast) and while he's shirtless someone spills a drink all over his naked torso and onto his pants. He tells everyone, "OK! I'm gonna go change!!!" and he runs into the bathroom. (This story is courtesy of Donna's boyfriend, David by the way.) Philip's in the bathroom for awhile, and when he finally comes out, he's wearing Rex's blazer but still has no shirt on. He hasn't even wiped off the drink from his stomach, and his pants are also still wet. He comes back out to join the party and David's like, "You call that changing?"

My neighbor (next house down -loser chick, not my duplex neighbor-cool Adam) came in at one point and got mad 'cause we were so loud, but it's ok, because the next day I bought her some flowers, so I think we are cool again. The night was long and Philip and I definitely don't remember much, but I bet we both had fun. I also know I'm leaving out a lot of stuff that I want to write about, but I'm being really lazy right now. I wanted to recap everyone's outfits and some stuff people said, but maybe Philip can finish that on another day.

Saturday. Went to eat Pho Saigon with Wendy, Dennis, Mona, Mai and Philip. Ate, talked, did the chopstick breaking challenge again. (Yeah, I broke mine. Easy.) Philip went to church and I cleaned up the horrible mess from the party. He has such a good excuse, "Oh, I'm going to church with my parents. SEE YA!" The cleaning was actually pretty easy. Mopped & threw away a crap-ton of junk. (My neighbor and I share a trashcan and I always feel like he's judging my trash since it's always a lot of beer bottles.) After Philip got done with church, we tried to figure out where to eat, and ended up at Hooters. I was always against it, NOT BECAUSE I'M JEALOUS ABOUT BOOBS AND STUFF 'CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS I'M SOOO SECURE, but because I always thought their food sucked. Anyway, their food didn't suck. The wings were good and I should have listened to Philip and gotten the whatever it's called ("fireman's truck?") sauce wings, but I stuck to "hot", because I thought the name meant what it was supposed to taste like. Wendy and Rex met us up and we split the check down the middle couple to couple, because Rex and Wendy are dating now. After dinner we all split up and Philip and I go home to brainstorm the night. We end up picking up Wendy and going to my friend Rob's birthday party. He's a very lovable guy, so if he invited me, then I'm gonna be there. (We only stayed for a second though.) Ended up at Dave and Buster('s) where everyone else was and had fun. Played some mini-bball and got killed when usually I'm the champ, some regular sized bball and got killed, but that's fine cause I'm short, and played some skee ball which I am most definitely the best at 'cause I hit those side 100's all the time. (Wow. I realize I sound so full of myself, but it's not real guys. It's fake cocky because I suck at everything. Have to make myself feel good on my own blog. This is a fake disclaimer because I really am the best!) Played some pool after all that and drank some big beers. I'm going to say that after 3 beers, I'm always down to have people over for after parties, so I started begging people to come. Only Juan came. We ended up showing him all the DJ Steve Porter videos (slap chop remix, Allen Iverson remix, etc.).

Sunday. Father's day. Dim sum at Kim Son with my godparents (Chinese-style godparents) and my family. Hung out at home with Philip after that and then went to Fuddruckers for dinner. One pounder with bacon, pepper jack cheese and grilled onions. Milkshake on the side. No boys in my yard though.

Philip has a real job now, so I don't know how he's going to get to edit these posts. Looks like he's gonna have to put in some overtime and do it all after work. Ha!

Office Happenings: Last Day

Haven't been able to blog because I've been training this chump Indian kid on my computer. Last day at this job is today. Right now I'm playing Bloons TD 4. Jessica's throwing me a Boss party tonight. See you there.

Jury Duty

Had jury duty yesterday. I told everyone that I got out at like 3 even though I got out at 9:30 baby. I didn't want to go to work, who would go back for my kind of job where there are no deadlines or anything?

I paid 7 bucks for parking, but you only get 6 bucks for the first day. I didn't even go get my parking discount with my sheet of paper cause i'm that baller.

I brought my brother's laptop, and I thought the charger or laptop was broken cause I plugged it in and nothing happened. Walked around the huge room to look for another outlet, and I knew everyone was staring at me with my cool one strap laptop bag. This one girl was using her loser macbook plugged into an outlet, so I figured if it doesn't work here then this stuff is broken. It worked, but right when I fixed the internet, he called my name to let me go home.

The cop that was controlling the microphone was good and kinda funny. The district clerk Loren Jackson was a really good public speaker with some good jokes.

In the beginning, the cop said that they start with 1001 and count up from there, so if you have a high number then something something something. I wasn't paying attention, but I had a high number and was like freak! Then later he said there was usually a cutoff number everyday, usually around 1800, that meant something something something. I wasn't paying attention again cause I was on the internet. Anyway, he starts calling people up, and they're all getting a piece of paper in the front and walking out of the room. I thought they were getting called into do whatever you have to do. I didn't think I was getting called anytime soon, so I just started typing out a blog entry.

Bam! Calls my name. I pack up the computer and charger, and then he's like, "Still waiting on Philp...Pa....gu..." He sees me walking up there and is like, "Is that you?" I nod my head. I take the paper, and he says thank you sir. The paper just says it's a work release form. I start walking out, and I ask some other lady walking with me, "Is that it? We can go home?" She just said, "Yup, thank God." I said, "Awesome."

Office Happenings: Dr. G Tells a Joke

The doctor comes in and says, "Ok, so here's a joke cause I know y'all like jokes." Who doesn't? Anyway, here it goes:

So a husband and wife go to the doctor's office for the husband to get a checkup. The doctor comes into the room and tells the wife to come into the other room so he can talk to her in private. The doctor says, "You have to cook him three meals a day, keep the house spotless, don't let him do any chores, take care of the kids, or do any shopping." When they leave the husband asks what the doctor said in the other room. Dr. G all of a sudden says, "Wait! I forgot to tell you a pretty important part." He gets all red and is rubbing his forehead like he messed everything up. So, he says that the doctor says she has to do all this stuff, or he'll die. Okay, so they're in the car, and the husband asks the wife what the doctor said. She says, "You're gonna die." We all start laughing, and he's like, "I messed it up, but you all get it." Imagine shooing with one hand, that's what he was doing while saying but you all get it.

Bonus:

Earlier in the day, there was this fat lady that came in to see the doctor. Later Dr. G comes into the office part, walks up to me and says, "Hey, did you see..." He sees the fat lady sitting right in front of the receptionist's window and says, "Nevermind, I'll tell you later."

Later I tell him I'm starting on the 21st and not on the 14th. Neza and the Mexican girl all gather around, and he starts telling us what he was gonna say earlier. He asks if we saw that fat lady and asks us if we've ever had the tickles like in our chest. I'm thinking no, but I'm nodding anyway. He tells us that he's had the tickles ever since he checked her, and that he's been bout to bust out laughing the whole morning. He says that the reason she came in is because she was sitting on her porch and it broke, and she fell. Didn't think it was that funny, but he was cracking up so hard.

Weekend Recap #5

I wonder when we're going to start thinking these weekend updates are a real chore to keep up with. I mean, it's not that bad once I actually start typing, but getting to this point takes a little push; kinda like working out (which I have been slacking off on recently). Philip and I did NOT hang out this weekend. SHOCKING! He went out to San Antonio for his cousin's graduation from the air force (kinda cool) which he'll write about separately. I'll write about my weekend and I'll try to keep it as concise as possible. On Thursday Philip came over after work and I made chicken ceasar salad to stay "healthy". Probably isn't even that healthy cause I used Brianna's Asiago Ceasar dressing which is really rich, but SO delicious. I pretty much sat there picking at my food 'cause I was being all mopey about him leaving for the entire weekend. It was supposed to be our "anniversary" weekend. There, I said it and yes, I do feel embarrassed. Philip tried to make it better by not leaving that night with his parents and was instead going to catch a ride with Rex the next morning. We went to Rudyards 'cause that's what we do, and we played some darts and hand some beers. Old drinking rules applied. I tried a new beer: Samuel Smith IPA and it's pretty good...bet it's better on tap; don't like the metallic taste on bottles left by foil wrappers. Pool table was open so we played a couple of rounds of 8 ball and then a round of 9 ball. We went back to my place kept looking at the clock and thinking how amazing it was that it was still so early. Love when that happens. At 10-something I finally decide that we should go to Meteor for a little bit to catch Aike perform in his Pride Idol thing. We haul ass over there and RIGHT when we get in, he's getting on stage. This is Philip's first time to a gay club in Houston and I just keep holding his hand so no one tries to steal him. He asks if he thinks the guys can tell he's straight. Probably not, 'cause he likes to wear his shirts XS. We only stay there for a bit after Aike sings 'cause Philip has to drive allll the way to Rex's house and sleep over there. I end up going back to Meteor (it's like 4 blocks from my house) and hanging out with my graphic's buddies 'til it closes.

On Friday I had an interview at Lawndale Art Center. I feel like it went really well, but every time I get overly confident I end up losing and feeling really dumb for having so much faith. So I'm going to say that I probably didn't get the job. Went to work then had dinner with my family and some other folks at a Mongolian hot pot restaurant on Westheimer and Fountainview. (The broth they used was so good; whole pieces of garlic and a million different spices simmering in your face while you cook the lamb meat yourself.) I missed hanging out with my brother so it was fun being stupid with him. We tried translating pick-up lines into Chinese and got stuck on the word "juicy", so we asked my parents and they had a million different ways of saying it. My favorite one translated directly into "chubby supple".

Some friends of mine told me about a new grill/bar on Washington was throwing a 15 kegger party for FREE. I love kegs and I love free, so I ended up going up there with Wendy, Miles and Wes. Some unintentional awkwardness occurs and we end up having to figure out a stealthy way to get out of there. I hurry and pump the keg for a few more free beers before we leave. We try to go to Boondocks, but Wendy and I have to pee SO FREAKING BAD and the line was long, so we run across the street to Etro to crash their bathrooms. At this point I'm the third-wheeling it hard (we left Miles at the party) so my mission is to get to a point where I am satisfied with just being out. It works. We end the night and walk back to the car which is parked by Boondocks and we run into a bunch of people we know coming out of the club. I also ran into Afrodet, a friend from back-in-the-day who coincidentally works at Lawndale Art Center. She told me she ran into the director who interviewed me and relayed that "my portfolio was amazing"!!! She was obviously drunk, so I won't take it to heart just yet.

I tried to sleep in on Saturday but Nikko called me at like 11 and woke my hungover ass up. He told me he was giving up his Summerfest ticket. Just the other day I was regretting the fact that I never bought one, and now one just magically appeared in my inbox. Wendy came over later and we had lunch at Empire Cafe and chugged iced coffee to get rid of our old-lady hangovers. Wendy left for Summerfest with Andy, and I waited for Drew to come over so he wouldn't have to walk there alone. I guess the walk from my house to the event is kinda far, but I noticed people parking on my street for the event so I figured if everyone else did it, it wouldn't be that bad. It wasn't. Got there, did a bunch of texting to find people and ended up having a really good time. Beers were buy one get one free if you tipped so that was cool. The lawn was packed and we didn't have a good place to lay down our picnic blanket, so we pretty much made ourselves fit in front of this guy and his girlfriend. I felt bad, so I gave him a pen I found earlier as a peace-maker. It worked. All of us left before Girl Talk's last set so that we could beat the masses and we drunkenly walked home. Wendy passed out on my couch and Drew and I YouTubed random stuff until midnight.

I felt like a high-schooler with the amount of texting I was doing with Philip the whole weekend.

Sunday. Did some cleaning around the house and decided I wanted to go shopping for junk on Harwin. That place is a gold-mine if you have the time to dig around. I am very happy with the jewelry and purses that I bought but not the cheapo sunglasses. I put them on for Philip and he was like, "nice nose" so I looked in the mirror and saw that my nose looked 3 times bigger. I am highly influenced by people's opinions. Anyone want a pair of fake Chloe's? Oh, and I finally found a fanny pack! I had been looking for one for years and even tried to make one myself, but failed miserably. After I shopped, I went home to wait for Philip to come over. We sit on my bed and he is like, "I got you something." I'm excited. I open it, it's a shot glass. I look inside it, cause I'm thinking there's something INSIDE the shot glass. No, it's just a shot glass. Then there's two cardboard boxes on my bed. I didn't pay attention to them, but they look kinda like Build-A-Bear boxes. He's like I got you these too. I'm thinking, "Weird. He got me a bear? Ok, that's kind of cute." Then he opens it and it's his and Rex's margarita glasses from a restaurant they went to. You get to keep the glass after you finish the margarita. Oh, Philip. It's the thought that counts right? And also this story I get to tell is better than a real gift because I am chuckling as I'm typing this. Philip wins.

Quick recap: What happens in San Antonio stays in San Antonio. Just kidding.

• Saw MyMy, and he lost like 30 pounds in basic training.
• Everyone got lost a million times. I'm telling you, my dad's Garmin was upside down. U-turn kings. Acme Road doesn't exist, but it got built in a day.
• Spent the whole weekend looking for tail for Kuya Rex. He'll tell you he had it but got cock blocked a million times. Went down the hallways saying Rachel into all the doors. Carla was Indian and really did block him. He also got blocked by someone from a girl that was with peeing girl.
• Vultures waiting outside of Tabu to pick up drunk girls. Easy money.
• The Republic has huge margaritas and really good dancers. Forest Whitaker.
• Kuya Rex got a free mean mojito from pregnant Rosa at Las Carnerias. 50% chance to get Ana, and we saw Rogue there. I felt really gay when I asked Rosa if she saw her shoes cause they had red bottoms. I quickly said I wasn't gay after I asked her. Steak was 48 bucks, but was really good.
• Don't know why Bryan was so mad when he was waiting for 2 hours cause it's not like we weren't driving around being lost for those same 2 hours.
• 98.5 in San Antonio is the Drake station.
• There are TWO visitor's centers, but one is HUGE hahahah. They also don't know what the BX or Base Exchange is.
• Apparently, I'm the richest man in the world before getting a paycheck.
• When it's hard to hear, 3 tequilas sound like 3 Guinnes.
• Can I get a Vortex please?
• Did you know that if you just mention Tito Ariel's name that you can do anything you want? Or if you call in an order from retired Sgt. Destreza.
• The Alamo is cool after the 5th time in the same weekend. I also am not allowed to use my cell phone inside, but chump teenage white girls are. Racist.
• Do you think that everyone's girlfriend's boyfriend knows that their girlfriends are following Kuya Rex?
• The toilet is in the corner of the elevator area at 5:30AM. Bryan will wake up and open the door for you, but Kuya Rex will not. He will knock down your lamp, though.
• MyMy only missed the dean's list or whatever it's called by 3 points, which amount to two fingers being held up. Also, those three points could have come from some combination of 3 push ups, 3 sit ups, or 3 marksmanship points.
• Don't walk out on your tab if your waitress got walked out on a bunch of tabs earlier because her friend got shot, and she was on the phone crying.
• You ever work out so much that you get a headache? Try this: Eat a breakfast burrito, sit on those Swedish exercise balls, and watch other people work out.
• We got 300 dollar rooms for 82 dollars cause our cousin is like the president of HR for whatever hotels.
  

This was top of the dome. Comment with some more if you think of any.

Got It

Got it, and getting the offer letter soon.

Now I'm gonna earn it for real.

Weekend Recap

Oh yes. Another long-ass weekend recap coming. I have nothing better to do right now, sitting around waiting for my number to get called downtown. Guess it's good to write down all the details even if it's lame and boring. Only sucks for the readers…which I guess is still me, one day.

Let's see… Thursday night was Monalisa's birthday dinner at Americas on Post Oak. This will be my second time going there. The first time was in 8th grade for 8th grade prom. I can't believe we got so fancied up at 14! I bet the waiters were pissed. We should have gone to Macaroni Grill like regular 8th graders. Anyway, I got off of work and rushed home 'cause whenever there are fancy dinners or parties, i never feel like there is enough time to get ready. Something with my hair or my outfit always goes wrong. Anyway, I had just gone shopping a couple of days before, so I had a few things to choose from that weren't old and tired outfits that I've recycled a million times, cause that's my thing: wearing the same thing all the time (We like to call it being the same clothes king). And it's always black or gray. Anyway, I end up wearing this one shoulder blue top with flower appliques sewn onto the left side and jeans. Did my hair and makeup and everything was OK. Except the shoes! I couldn't figure out what shoes to wear so I put on these gold platform wedges. Philip did not approve (I don't disapprove of anything, I'm not gay). I have the "hangover" when I wear them cause my foot slides to the front so my toes stick out hard. I start freaking out, cause the only other shoes I could think of were my white and beige wedges, but they broke as I was walking back to my car from an interview a month ago. Didn't get that job, by the way. But good- cause it would have been boring anyway. Take that! So Philip, being my personal fashion advisor, pulled out my silver sandals and I tried them on and it went perfectly. I bet it's from all the E! Hollywood (Only good show on there is The Soup) crap he watches that he has this "style". Oh yeah, and I also bet it's cause he hates when I wear heels 'cause it makes him look short. Philip dresses like a waiter or a bus boy: white button down and black slacks (This recapping is not helping your memory. I wore jeans). Grown and sexy. We have a couple of drinks and then have dinner. I had pan seared halibut with lemon butter sauce. Any time I see lemon and butter together, I'll most likely order it. Philip got seafood thing where it was like 4 mini stacks of scallops and seafood (I ordered four scallops on top of a little slice of good streak on top of a really good dob of mashed potatoes). Looked super tiny, but it was good. Did some more drinking and talking and then dropped the big bucks. Thanks Philip.

We left the restaurant and ended up at Glitter karaoke 'cause Philip's friend Jason was having something there. Chris and Shara were there and it was on the way to my house, so we stopped by for a second (I see Tomson's brother there, who I've never met but heard about from Tomson. Kept drinking beers and getting drunk, but I'm already really tired. Foreshadowing). My friend Gene was in town and he texted that they were going to Pearl Bar so I dragged Philip with me there too. On the drive up there Philip takes out my cigarette box and asks me if he can smash them. I call his bluff and say, "Do it." So he throws them on my floor mat and goes at it. He's seriously putting a lot of energy into it; kicking his feet up and smashing down hard, twisting his foot all around the ground (I barely remember doing it, and my inspiration was Rick James from Charlie Murphy's story about Rick putting his muddy feet on their couch. "F yo couch, n word!").



I want to be mad cause I didn't think he'd really do it, but it's a hard fight to win when you're a smoker. People will say, "Oh, well smoking is so bad, so he's doing you a favor. Blah blah blah blah blah." Well, maybe next time I'll knock the beer out of your hands or smash your wine glass on the ground or punch you in the mouth 'cause you just took a bite out of a Big Mac (I'm not daring you to do any of those things, and I'm not trying to quit any of those things). Take that people-who-think-everyone- who- is- not- a- smoker- is- so- much- better- than- everyone- else. I'm thinking about starting to quit. SO. We get to Pearl Bar and we hang out on the patio for a little bit and catch up for a second with my friends, then we leave cause Philip is dead tired (I'll tell them I threw a fit for no reason cause I was drunk and tired. Mad for no reason). Went home and Philip passed out immediately.

Friday. Philip gets off work early (At like 12 mudder trucking thirty, son) because it's ALMOST Memorial Day. I swear, his office gets the weirdest holiday hours. Oh! It's ALMOST Mother's Day, everyone take a half day off! I am super jealous because I hate being at work while he is available to hang out (That's really weird because Jessica has the greatest schedule ever. It's the I work for my dad schedule. It's also called I have to go to the city before it closes, but there's not really enough time to go all the way back to work, so I'll just go home early). He ends up working out, so I'm not that let down. I do end up getting home earlier than usual and we end up going to Happy Hour at Oishii with Dennis, Mona, Johnny and Eli. We order some stuff. I end up ordering stuff not on the Happy Hour menu to get back at Philip for the cigarette smashing incident. Just came up with that logic now, but it works. So guess who's sitting right by me at the table next to us? The LOSER BALDING EMO guy who works at Copy.com, my local print shop, who made me cry last semester. I told a handful of friends about that incident, but I've repeated it too many times to want to type it all out again. But I will say this part cause it's the only kind of funny/interesting thing that came out of it even though it makes fun of me: they ended up putting a picture of a baby and a box of Kleenexes at the print shop in lieu of my crying incident. They SO don't know the real story though (When she told me that was him, I was like, "Wow, he's super effing gay!" The wish factor, I wished he'd heard me). We finish Happy Hour and everyone disperses. I had a feeling Dennis and Johnny really wanted to do hang out afterwards, but nothing was working out (Their friend Eli can't drink diddly). Philip and I end up going to the Galleria so he could get a nice shirt to wear to The Red Room later that night (Zara is expensive, and I got a shirt that wasn't as fitted as I wanted, so I'm gonna return it if I don't get lazy). We go back to my place and start getting ready. We had never been to The Red Room before, so we looked up some reviews. All of them read, "Snobby!" "Elitist!" "Bourgeoisie!!!" "Beware!" (Bet you had to look up the spelling of bourgeoisie, I just lost a buck,,, to myself!)
So… we douched it up. I wore a silk zebra print dress with gold chains that I thrifted for $8.50 and Philip wore his new gingham shirt. We decide to do a little pre-partying and play Egyptian Ratscrew (She got a couple of slaps, which really steams my boat, so then I had to say that saying, "Now I'm gonna play for real.")

So, I'm gonna try to finish this bad boy up. We get to The Red Room, and the bouncer was wearing exactly what one of the yelp reviews said, a dumb hat. Anyway, no trouble getting in of course cause of Jessica. Throw up noise. It's dark and red everywhere and Mona and her boyfriend have a little table with a big bottle of goose on it, and some of her friends were there already. I don't feel comfortable drinking their Goose, but I'm sure it's fine if Jessica does. So then I go to the bar to get a Jack on the rocks. For some reason, I get a double. Bartender seems kinda gay. It's pretty huge, but it's 18 bucks. We drink and talk and dance and junk, (Philip wants to hear some Trey Songz so I go and request it from the DJ. He says he has no idea who Trey Songz is. I never knew who Trey Songz was either until Philip taught me how to listen to the radio.) then I get another Jack on the rocks, this time a single. This single was pretty much the same amount as the double. Bartender seems more gay to me. Don't really remember leaving, but we go to Pearl Bar to meet up Jessica's friends at like 1. Jessica says that we just left cause I was too messed up and just sat in a chair with my head down or something. Pretty sure she was just too messed up to remember I was having super fun while she was being too messed up. Good night Friday.

Saturday:

Woke up Saturday pretty hungover. Now that it's Wednesday, it's really hard to remember everything. Oh yeah, so Jessica was gonna watch dumb ol' Sex and the City 2 at 320. Before that, we just ate at Pho Saigon, always good. Then I went home when she went to the movie. (Movie was good enough. Not as awesome as the first one, but I teared up at all the lame "touching" parts. I'm so weak when it comes to movies which is weird, because I'm so tough when it comes to life.) I went to church with Tita and my parents. Meeting at the front of the church was me and my parents, Timmy and his, and Tito Nilo and Tita Claire. Tito Onil suggested this super far Italian place named Nick's on West Airport and 1464. Anyway dinner tasted good, and I got recapped on ever comic in the world by Timmy. We also talked about how sucky it is to look for a job after graduating. I don't feel bad for Timmy cause I know he's way smarter than me, and he'll get something soon cause he's getting a bunch of interviews. I leave dinner to meet up Jessica, who's at dinner with her girls after the movie. (Ate at Baba Yega's with the girls. Wendy called someone to tell them where we were eating and she kept saying, "Yabba Gaga's". We had mimosas and tried to figure out how bags of water can keep flies away. )When I get there, we try to find out what to do and who's hanging out. Everyone and their mama was saving it for Sunday night. Nikko, Dennis, Sam, and Johnny all were saving it for Sunday night because Sam had a test Sunday morning. Me and Jessica make the most of it. I beat her at Lexulous super fast, and by a million points. Then we play a game of cricket on her dart board to see who's gonna buy beer. I beat her again. We go get a six pack of that Bud Light Golden Wheat beer, but as we're buying it I say let's go to Rudyard's just like old times first and just save these beers for after. We go to Rudyard's, and there are some losers on the pool table, so we play some darts. Dominate her some more, and I get super congested puffy after one and a half beers. I never know when that's gonna happen. I wait it out, and we see this Chinese kid we've seen at weird places like a house party, dragon boat festival and now at Rudyard's. Him and his friends are the ones taking up the pool table. They finally get done, but we find out it's already freaking 1:50. I finish getting puffy when we get back home, and I was looking up drinking games earlier that night. We try one that sounds pretty good, and it goes pretty hard. It's called brain damage, but that name sucks for it. It's like black jack but different. I kill her in that, and she gets pretty drunk cause she kept drinking at Rudyard's while I was being puffy. We go to sleep around 4 something. (I usually NEVER fall asleep first, but this time Philip kept asking me questions and I would doze off and then wake up real quick and act like I heard him and answer. Back then, when Philip dozed off he would say the weirdest things and I would write them down. Damn, I wish I still had them. OH yeah, but one time he jerked really hard and kicked his foot up and then woke up from it and said, "I dreamed there was a cup in front of me and I kicked it." I laughed so hard and that's probably my favorite one. He's so deep.)

Sunday:

I wake up too early on Sunday. We have Gab's birthday party to go to around lunch time. Jessica asks what to get him, and I'm like we have to get him something? She's good about getting people presents, but I never thought about it before. (People love gifts no matter what.) I forget I work now. I've been thinking about things to collect, and Nerf guns was one of the top choices. (Please no. I think Philip should collect hundred dollar bills instead.) So, then I think we should get him one, and then maybe get one for me, shoot. We go to Walmart, and their selection isn't as good as I thought. I see this double barrel shotgun made by some offbrand, but it looks better than some of the nerf ones and is cheaper. After we pay, we think about how to give it to him. We asked an employee if they had long bags, and maybe I could just give it to him in a long plastic bag. They don't have any, and Jessica says she has a sticky bow we could just stick on the box. Nah. I forget we're at Walmart, so then I just run back and get some wrapping paper. I figure it's Walmart, so I can just get some for a buck. They're all 3 bucks, what a rip off. Anyway, we leave, and Jessica wraps it on the way to Gab's. Gabs house is pretty fun. Nikko's the only other cousin there when me and Jessica get there, but there's a bunch of babies from only two of the cousins. They're super rowdy and fun. (Kate touches my dress by my stomach and tells me I have a baby. Yeah, I know that's the cliche "funny" thing all kids say, but I was super embarrassed because she kept saying it all loud in front of parents which insinuates sexual relations which is never good. Then she comes up behind me and sniffs the back of my head and tells me it stinks. Kids shouldn't lie.) There's a little basketball hoop in the living room that keeps me and Nikko occupied, while Jessica plays with the babies. Nikko tells me they have a real goal in their backyard, bingo! So we have a free throw contest for shot guns later on at night. If you get less than Gab in any round, that's a shotgun. The person that gets more than the other person gets to choose if they subtract a shotgun from their count or adds one to the other person's count. Gab's pretty good. Keeps giving Nikko shotguns, and duh, I'm giving Nikko shotguns. Nikko gets up to 8 shotguns before I cap it 6 later on cause I don't want Nikko to die. Nikko also goes a whole round of 10 shots without making a single one. Jessica plays a round, and she takes me to triple sudden death. It was on purpose. We're super sweaty the rest of the day. Bryan, Shara, and Chris all get there after their dragon boat practice, or as my dad likes to call it, drag race. My mom gets on my brother's case about getting dark. Now he knows how it feels to get nagged about getting tanned on accident. Marianne gets there with Tim, his girlfriend, Mark, and Joseph. The guys then play poker. I'm playing every hand because I know Jessica doesn't want to sit there all night if we're trying to go out later. (Good lookin' out.) Nikko gets first, and my brother and I tie for second. So, I got Jessica's 10 bucks back plus five.

All the kids start leaving to get ready to go out. Marianne and Shara have plans to go to Escobar. I have to drive Nikko and his car to Jessica's cause he's not allowed to drive past 8 on the weekends still. My car feels a lot better. My guy friends all start asking me what's going on cause they all saved it for tonight. Sam, Dennis, Johnny, and Eli all come over to pre party. Everyone shotguns a bunch. Me and Nikko get a headstart on his 6 he has to do. I do three of them together with him. Sam brings over Forties, and Dennis brings some more cans. Nikko ends up doing 7 shotguns, and I do about the same amount so people don't have to do it alone. That brain damage game becomes kind of a hit. We finally find a place to go, and it's Glitter. Escobar got really crowded.

I think Glitter has a gay bouncer. Also Chris and Shara's neighbor is part owner of the place. Me and my friends all have to pee, then Chris comes in and gets mad at Johnny for being alive. Eli is all messed up from nothing, so he tries to go pass out in the car. He comes back and just passes out in a chair. Glitter is a karaoke place, so Sam and Johnny go up there with Mark to sing Country Grammar, I think. Mark is super drunk the whole time, and keeps hugging and jumping on people. My brother isn't there, and Marianne keeps calling him a loser, but I keep telling her that he's having a house party right now. I see a guy from A&M there, and I yell his name out in the bathroom, "Hey, Leo!" Too bad his name is Theo, and he never says anything about it, but I found out from Dennis after I told him I saw Leo. End of the night, and the same people go back to Jessica's. Dennis leaves by himself, Johnny drags Eli to the car, and Sam gets picked up by some mysterious white car out of nowhere after he'd been semi passed out on the couch.

Monday: Memorial Day

Woke up and cleaned up a little bit by throwing away like 30 beer cans, all shot gunned. Me, Nikko, and Jessica met up Chris and Shara and Fung's kitchen for dim sum, which I never think is that good. Me and Jessica get there first and tell the lady we have five. Then in Chinese the lady tells another lady to give us the tiniest table, then Jessica busts her in Chinese, "No, don't give us that." Then Jessica tells me that she says, "That's not what I meant." Whatevergay. So, dim sum wasn't that good. If you think I'm just not getting the right stuff, suggest some stuff. After we're mostly done eating, I'm reminded of two chopsticks with one hand challenge. Remember how I said Jessica saw that Sam couldn't even break one, and when she tried it she could do it? Well she couldn't do it on this day. (Not enough nutrients and energy in dim sum food. Give me a couple of beers and those chopsticks are history.) Neither Nikko nor Shara could do it. I always thought I had really weak hands, especially for a tennis player. When we leave we see pictures on the wall of a bunch of famous people that have been there. George Bush Sr. and his wife, Robert Horry, Chucky Brown, Queen of Thailand, Channel 13 News, Marvin Zindler, Mayor Lee Brown, Hakeem.

Chris says just call him if we figure out what we're doing next cause he has to take a dump and get a burrito from Bullrito's cause he can't waste his free burrito every week for a year. I call my brother, but he hasn't been picking up his phone for a while. I don't have Marianne's number, so Nikko calls her and she says they have fajitas and they're playing monopoly. Jessica and I are gonna hang out for a little before we decide to go over there or not, I don't know what Nikko does. Jessica wants to watch some dumb movie that's only at the River Oaks theater, so you know it's dumb. We found out the times, and we have an hour to burn, so I say let's go to Toys R Us to look for Nerf guns. I want to start collecting them, but they're kind of expensive. When we see the boardgames, I remember that I had Weapons and Warriors when I was little. Gotta be one of the best ideas/games ever made. You roll some dice for action points and use those action points to either move your men or shoot some balls at the other person's stuff.

We can't find it in the store, so Jessica asks the store guys while I stand there acting like it wasn't my question because I'm embarrassed for some reason. (I wanted to ask them cause they were kind of cute. Psych. I'm deadmeat.) Anyway the guys act like they've never heard of it before, so they go to their computer to see if they carry it. Nope, they don't got it. Now I want to get home and look for it on the internet.

It's getting close to the first showing for Jessica's cool movie, but she misses the exit. I tell her let's see what they have at Blockbuster, and she can return her movies that are super duper overdue. She hasn't even watched one of them. We can't find one of the movies that I've seen sitting in the backseat for like a couple of weeks, but when we find it in the trunk, the dvd's not even in it. Before we walk in, I turn in the one she hasn't seen. We're debating between The Messenger with Woody Harrelson and The Road with Viggo Mortensen. We get The Road. There's a debacle at the counter because we think that the late fees probably are over what the movies cost, and we might be able to keep them. Did you know they cap the late fees at 10 bucks? Not so bad, I guess. Anyway the movies were 14.99 and 19.99, super rip offs. We just keep the movies cause the fees are capped anyway. We go to Kroger's and the bank. Getting dinner for the week saves some money, and you get to pick how healthy you're gonna be. Spaghetti, pork shoulder blade steaks cause they were five bucks, and chicken caesar salad.

Get home and prepare the steaks by marinating them. Then we watch The Road. Kinda good, pretty sad. (I thought it was awesome. Had all the elements I needed to make me feel things. Cried a million times and at one point if I just let go, I would have been bawling. But I had to act tough for Philip.) Oh yeah, no more movie at River Oaks. I wasn't even trying to miss it, promise. ("Exit Through the Gift Shop". Still gonna watch it.) We then try oven roasting the steaks by searing them and then putting them in the oven. Worked pretty well, but pork is easy cause they're already gonna more tender than beef. Jessica gets scared of diarrhea, but I never really think about that, I just think about if it's gonna taste gross. We eat the steaks with asparagus, and it makes my pee stink. I guess it makes Jessica's stink too, but since she can't smell asparagus pee because only a small percentage of the world can, maybe hers doesn't. Then we just watch a bunch of tv till 11:30, and I go home. A lean night.

Perce!