Last Friday Philip and I went to get dollar beers at Sherlocks after work. Got two beers from the Puerto Rican bartender who I asked if he was Indian the first time he served us. Both dart boards were taken up so we were forced to make conversation with each other. We made up some jokes on the spot and they're all really bad. I can only remember a few:
So a guy walked up to the bar and the bartender was like, "How'd you do that with no stairs?"
What do you call beer-poo? Bar stool.
What did one beer say to the other when he lost his keys? Don't worry I have Dosequis.
A boy buffalo asked his dad what he was as his dad was dying, but all the dad buffalo had time to say was, "bye son."
After that a dart board opened up. We played for a bit and then went back to my place to wait for Sam to come over so we could go to Brit John's house for a mini-party. Mini-party turned out to be pretty fun. Someone donated a bunch of jello shots so we made the losers of paper, rock, scissors take one. John said he had corn-hole, but it was a miniature set which was weak 'cause it's so much harder to make those in. Losers took jello shots. Four girls who none of us really knew showed up and I think certain guys had dibs on a couple of them. Brit John and one of the girls got locked in his room cause his lock broke and we tried to free them. Her drunk friends were freaking out about it and thought something bad was happening to her. C'mon, no way. Everyone went up to the roof to look at the stars or whatever and I went back down to go to the bathroom and then I couldn't find my way back up again so I gave up. Heard Sam was straight pimping up there. We left and the next morning Sam couldn't find his phone, but it was ok because they were in the backseat of my car. But then he couldn't find his shoes but that's ok because the grass on on his socks was evidence that he didn't wear them home and left them at Brit John's house.
Saturday morning we had pho like usual and hung out for a little bit before Philip and I realized we were exhausted. Took a huge nap until 5:30P when I had to get up to get ready for a wedding which I was getting picked up for at 6:00. Ready in no time. Aike was my date since Philip denied my invitation a month earlier. The wedding was really swanky. Chinese girl + Jewish guy at Hotel ZaZa. They did the chair lifting and the glass breaking. Groom fell out of his chair 'cause the guys were too weak to carry him. Went back home and Philip was still there watching TV. He did a marathon of Always Sunny and The League. We both made togas out of my bedsheets in 10 minutes and were out the door and on our way to a party ranch which was really far away. Good thing Andy picked us up. He had Sam's shoes in his car, but of course we forgot to get them. The party was pretty cool. We pulled up and some old white guy was standing outside looking mean. We drove by him and and Wendy tried to ask him a question, but he was like, "Let me speak to the driver!" He turned out to be the party overseer and gave us a VIP spot. We got there kind of late so we had to catch up with the partiers. Lots of people were there and they had a photobooth set up which we took advantage of after we got tipsy. Philip doesn't remember much.
Sunday was super chill day/night. Had lunch with Wendy and Andy and ran into half of the people at the toga party which is funny because when we woke up, Philip put on his toga again and said he was going to wear it to lunch. But since we decided to go to an asian restaurant instead of Free Birds, he thought no one would get it, so he took it off. Too bad, cause everyone at that restaurant would have gotten it if he wore it anyway. Watched all of the Always Sunny's available on OnDemand and all of The Leagues. Both good. Lean night.