Thursday, June 24, 2010

Weekend Recap/Boss Party

Almost skipped two whole weekends. Tsk tsk. There's no way I'm going to be able to recap everything that happened off the top of my head, so I'm just going to write about some of the highlights. This past weekend I threw Philip a party for getting his job at FMC Technologies. (I just googled the company after I typed that and whoa, I'm impressed.) The party was themed "Like a Boss" so you could come dressed like a boss or like a secretary. I was nervous about throwing a party at my place since my place is so tiny and I don't have real A/C. I think it turned out ok, but my memory of the actual party is pretty hazy. Made a dumb rule that everyone who walked in had to take a shot immediately, but didn't think about the consequences of me and Philip taking double the amount of everyone else. Philip was pretty much gone by 11 PM and the party only started at like 9:30-ish.

Oh yeah, before the party Philip didn't really have an outfit, so we went around looking for a bowtie. Target had none, Marshall's had none and TJ Maxx had the same exact crap that Marshall's had, so that was a failure too. Guess where we ended up getting a bowtie? Erotic Cabaret. We went in, and we're like, "Bowties?" The goth chick in lingerie showed us where they were, which was straight up in our face on the wall. We left and smelled like sex-store-incense for another hour.

Lots of people showed up at the party which was cool. People kept coming in and leaving in different groups. Some people came just to pre-party, some stayed for the whole party, and some came for the after party. All the liquor and beer were gone by 1 AM, so everyone started drinking the wine; pouring it in water bottles and stuff. Gross. So, everyone knows that when Philip gets drunk he likes to take off his shirt. Of course this happens (pretty early in the night too, 'cause he went so hard, so fast) and while he's shirtless someone spills a drink all over his naked torso and onto his pants. He tells everyone, "OK! I'm gonna go change!!!" and he runs into the bathroom. (This story is courtesy of Donna's boyfriend, David by the way.) Philip's in the bathroom for awhile, and when he finally comes out, he's wearing Rex's blazer but still has no shirt on. He hasn't even wiped off the drink from his stomach, and his pants are also still wet. He comes back out to join the party and David's like, "You call that changing?"

My neighbor (next house down -loser chick, not my duplex neighbor-cool Adam) came in at one point and got mad 'cause we were so loud, but it's ok, because the next day I bought her some flowers, so I think we are cool again. The night was long and Philip and I definitely don't remember much, but I bet we both had fun. I also know I'm leaving out a lot of stuff that I want to write about, but I'm being really lazy right now. I wanted to recap everyone's outfits and some stuff people said, but maybe Philip can finish that on another day.

Saturday. Went to eat Pho Saigon with Wendy, Dennis, Mona, Mai and Philip. Ate, talked, did the chopstick breaking challenge again. (Yeah, I broke mine. Easy.) Philip went to church and I cleaned up the horrible mess from the party. He has such a good excuse, "Oh, I'm going to church with my parents. SEE YA!" The cleaning was actually pretty easy. Mopped & threw away a crap-ton of junk. (My neighbor and I share a trashcan and I always feel like he's judging my trash since it's always a lot of beer bottles.) After Philip got done with church, we tried to figure out where to eat, and ended up at Hooters. I was always against it, NOT BECAUSE I'M JEALOUS ABOUT BOOBS AND STUFF 'CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS I'M SOOO SECURE, but because I always thought their food sucked. Anyway, their food didn't suck. The wings were good and I should have listened to Philip and gotten the whatever it's called ("fireman's truck?") sauce wings, but I stuck to "hot", because I thought the name meant what it was supposed to taste like. Wendy and Rex met us up and we split the check down the middle couple to couple, because Rex and Wendy are dating now. After dinner we all split up and Philip and I go home to brainstorm the night. We end up picking up Wendy and going to my friend Rob's birthday party. He's a very lovable guy, so if he invited me, then I'm gonna be there. (We only stayed for a second though.) Ended up at Dave and Buster('s) where everyone else was and had fun. Played some mini-bball and got killed when usually I'm the champ, some regular sized bball and got killed, but that's fine cause I'm short, and played some skee ball which I am most definitely the best at 'cause I hit those side 100's all the time. (Wow. I realize I sound so full of myself, but it's not real guys. It's fake cocky because I suck at everything. Have to make myself feel good on my own blog. This is a fake disclaimer because I really am the best!) Played some pool after all that and drank some big beers. I'm going to say that after 3 beers, I'm always down to have people over for after parties, so I started begging people to come. Only Juan came. We ended up showing him all the DJ Steve Porter videos (slap chop remix, Allen Iverson remix, etc.).

Sunday. Father's day. Dim sum at Kim Son with my godparents (Chinese-style godparents) and my family. Hung out at home with Philip after that and then went to Fuddruckers for dinner. One pounder with bacon, pepper jack cheese and grilled onions. Milkshake on the side. No boys in my yard though.

Philip has a real job now, so I don't know how he's going to get to edit these posts. Looks like he's gonna have to put in some overtime and do it all after work. Ha!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Office Happenings: Last Day

Haven't been able to blog because I've been training this chump Indian kid on my computer. Last day at this job is today. Right now I'm playing Bloons TD 4. Jessica's throwing me a Boss party tonight. See you there.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Jury Duty

Had jury duty yesterday. I told everyone that I got out at like 3 even though I got out at 9:30 baby. I didn't want to go to work, who would go back for my kind of job where there are no deadlines or anything?

I paid 7 bucks for parking, but you only get 6 bucks for the first day. I didn't even go get my parking discount with my sheet of paper cause i'm that baller.

I brought my brother's laptop, and I thought the charger or laptop was broken cause I plugged it in and nothing happened. Walked around the huge room to look for another outlet, and I knew everyone was staring at me with my cool one strap laptop bag. This one girl was using her loser macbook plugged into an outlet, so I figured if it doesn't work here then this stuff is broken. It worked, but right when I fixed the internet, he called my name to let me go home.

The cop that was controlling the microphone was good and kinda funny. The district clerk Loren Jackson was a really good public speaker with some good jokes.

In the beginning, the cop said that they start with 1001 and count up from there, so if you have a high number then something something something. I wasn't paying attention, but I had a high number and was like freak! Then later he said there was usually a cutoff number everyday, usually around 1800, that meant something something something. I wasn't paying attention again cause I was on the internet. Anyway, he starts calling people up, and they're all getting a piece of paper in the front and walking out of the room. I thought they were getting called into do whatever you have to do. I didn't think I was getting called anytime soon, so I just started typing out a blog entry.

Bam! Calls my name. I pack up the computer and charger, and then he's like, "Still waiting on" He sees me walking up there and is like, "Is that you?" I nod my head. I take the paper, and he says thank you sir. The paper just says it's a work release form. I start walking out, and I ask some other lady walking with me, "Is that it? We can go home?" She just said, "Yup, thank God." I said, "Awesome."

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Office Happenings: Dr. G Tells a Joke

The doctor comes in and says, "Ok, so here's a joke cause I know y'all like jokes." Who doesn't? Anyway, here it goes:

So a husband and wife go to the doctor's office for the husband to get a checkup. The doctor comes into the room and tells the wife to come into the other room so he can talk to her in private. The doctor says, "You have to cook him three meals a day, keep the house spotless, don't let him do any chores, take care of the kids, or do any shopping." When they leave the husband asks what the doctor said in the other room. Dr. G all of a sudden says, "Wait! I forgot to tell you a pretty important part." He gets all red and is rubbing his forehead like he messed everything up. So, he says that the doctor says she has to do all this stuff, or he'll die. Okay, so they're in the car, and the husband asks the wife what the doctor said. She says, "You're gonna die." We all start laughing, and he's like, "I messed it up, but you all get it." Imagine shooing with one hand, that's what he was doing while saying but you all get it.


Earlier in the day, there was this fat lady that came in to see the doctor. Later Dr. G comes into the office part, walks up to me and says, "Hey, did you see..." He sees the fat lady sitting right in front of the receptionist's window and says, "Nevermind, I'll tell you later."

Later I tell him I'm starting on the 21st and not on the 14th. Neza and the Mexican girl all gather around, and he starts telling us what he was gonna say earlier. He asks if we saw that fat lady and asks us if we've ever had the tickles like in our chest. I'm thinking no, but I'm nodding anyway. He tells us that he's had the tickles ever since he checked her, and that he's been bout to bust out laughing the whole morning. He says that the reason she came in is because she was sitting on her porch and it broke, and she fell. Didn't think it was that funny, but he was cracking up so hard.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Weekend Recap #5

I wonder when we're going to start thinking these weekend updates are a real chore to keep up with. I mean, it's not that bad once I actually start typing, but getting to this point takes a little push; kinda like working out (which I have been slacking off on recently). Philip and I did NOT hang out this weekend. SHOCKING! He went out to San Antonio for his cousin's graduation from the air force (kinda cool) which he'll write about separately. I'll write about my weekend and I'll try to keep it as concise as possible. On Thursday Philip came over after work and I made chicken ceasar salad to stay "healthy". Probably isn't even that healthy cause I used Brianna's Asiago Ceasar dressing which is really rich, but SO delicious. I pretty much sat there picking at my food 'cause I was being all mopey about him leaving for the entire weekend. It was supposed to be our "anniversary" weekend. There, I said it and yes, I do feel embarrassed. Philip tried to make it better by not leaving that night with his parents and was instead going to catch a ride with Rex the next morning. We went to Rudyards 'cause that's what we do, and we played some darts and hand some beers. Old drinking rules applied. I tried a new beer: Samuel Smith IPA and it's pretty it's better on tap; don't like the metallic taste on bottles left by foil wrappers. Pool table was open so we played a couple of rounds of 8 ball and then a round of 9 ball. We went back to my place kept looking at the clock and thinking how amazing it was that it was still so early. Love when that happens. At 10-something I finally decide that we should go to Meteor for a little bit to catch Aike perform in his Pride Idol thing. We haul ass over there and RIGHT when we get in, he's getting on stage. This is Philip's first time to a gay club in Houston and I just keep holding his hand so no one tries to steal him. He asks if he thinks the guys can tell he's straight. Probably not, 'cause he likes to wear his shirts XS. We only stay there for a bit after Aike sings 'cause Philip has to drive allll the way to Rex's house and sleep over there. I end up going back to Meteor (it's like 4 blocks from my house) and hanging out with my graphic's buddies 'til it closes.

On Friday I had an interview at Lawndale Art Center. I feel like it went really well, but every time I get overly confident I end up losing and feeling really dumb for having so much faith. So I'm going to say that I probably didn't get the job. Went to work then had dinner with my family and some other folks at a Mongolian hot pot restaurant on Westheimer and Fountainview. (The broth they used was so good; whole pieces of garlic and a million different spices simmering in your face while you cook the lamb meat yourself.) I missed hanging out with my brother so it was fun being stupid with him. We tried translating pick-up lines into Chinese and got stuck on the word "juicy", so we asked my parents and they had a million different ways of saying it. My favorite one translated directly into "chubby supple".

Some friends of mine told me about a new grill/bar on Washington was throwing a 15 kegger party for FREE. I love kegs and I love free, so I ended up going up there with Wendy, Miles and Wes. Some unintentional awkwardness occurs and we end up having to figure out a stealthy way to get out of there. I hurry and pump the keg for a few more free beers before we leave. We try to go to Boondocks, but Wendy and I have to pee SO FREAKING BAD and the line was long, so we run across the street to Etro to crash their bathrooms. At this point I'm the third-wheeling it hard (we left Miles at the party) so my mission is to get to a point where I am satisfied with just being out. It works. We end the night and walk back to the car which is parked by Boondocks and we run into a bunch of people we know coming out of the club. I also ran into Afrodet, a friend from back-in-the-day who coincidentally works at Lawndale Art Center. She told me she ran into the director who interviewed me and relayed that "my portfolio was amazing"!!! She was obviously drunk, so I won't take it to heart just yet.

I tried to sleep in on Saturday but Nikko called me at like 11 and woke my hungover ass up. He told me he was giving up his Summerfest ticket. Just the other day I was regretting the fact that I never bought one, and now one just magically appeared in my inbox. Wendy came over later and we had lunch at Empire Cafe and chugged iced coffee to get rid of our old-lady hangovers. Wendy left for Summerfest with Andy, and I waited for Drew to come over so he wouldn't have to walk there alone. I guess the walk from my house to the event is kinda far, but I noticed people parking on my street for the event so I figured if everyone else did it, it wouldn't be that bad. It wasn't. Got there, did a bunch of texting to find people and ended up having a really good time. Beers were buy one get one free if you tipped so that was cool. The lawn was packed and we didn't have a good place to lay down our picnic blanket, so we pretty much made ourselves fit in front of this guy and his girlfriend. I felt bad, so I gave him a pen I found earlier as a peace-maker. It worked. All of us left before Girl Talk's last set so that we could beat the masses and we drunkenly walked home. Wendy passed out on my couch and Drew and I YouTubed random stuff until midnight.

I felt like a high-schooler with the amount of texting I was doing with Philip the whole weekend.

Sunday. Did some cleaning around the house and decided I wanted to go shopping for junk on Harwin. That place is a gold-mine if you have the time to dig around. I am very happy with the jewelry and purses that I bought but not the cheapo sunglasses. I put them on for Philip and he was like, "nice nose" so I looked in the mirror and saw that my nose looked 3 times bigger. I am highly influenced by people's opinions. Anyone want a pair of fake Chloe's? Oh, and I finally found a fanny pack! I had been looking for one for years and even tried to make one myself, but failed miserably. After I shopped, I went home to wait for Philip to come over. We sit on my bed and he is like, "I got you something." I'm excited. I open it, it's a shot glass. I look inside it, cause I'm thinking there's something INSIDE the shot glass. No, it's just a shot glass. Then there's two cardboard boxes on my bed. I didn't pay attention to them, but they look kinda like Build-A-Bear boxes. He's like I got you these too. I'm thinking, "Weird. He got me a bear? Ok, that's kind of cute." Then he opens it and it's his and Rex's margarita glasses from a restaurant they went to. You get to keep the glass after you finish the margarita. Oh, Philip. It's the thought that counts right? And also this story I get to tell is better than a real gift because I am chuckling as I'm typing this. Philip wins.

Quick recap: What happens in San Antonio stays in San Antonio. Just kidding.
  • Saw MyMy, and he lost like 30 pounds in basic training.
  • Everyone got lost a million times. I'm telling you, my dad's Garmin was upside down. U-turn kings. Acme Road doesn't exist, but it got built in a day.
  • Spent the whole weekend looking for tail for Kuya Rex. He'll tell you he had it but got cock blocked a million times. Went down the hallways saying Rachel into all the doors. Carla was Indian and really did block him. He also got blocked by someone from a girl that was with peeing girl.
  • Vultures waiting outside of Tabu to pick up drunk girls. Easy money.
  • The Republic has huge margaritas and really good dancers. Forest Whitaker.
  • Kuya Rex got a free mean mojito from pregnant Rosa at Las Carnerias. 50% chance to get Ana, and we saw Rogue there. I felt really gay when I asked Rosa if she saw her shoes cause they had red bottoms. I quickly said I wasn't gay after I asked her. Steak was 48 bucks, but was really good.
  • Don't know why Bryan was so mad when he was waiting for 2 hours cause it's not like we weren't driving around being lost for those same 2 hours.
  • 98.5 in San Antonio is the Drake station.
  • There are TWO visitor's centers, but one is HUGE hahahah. They also don't know what the BX or Base Exchange is.
  • Apparently, I'm the richest man in the world before getting a paycheck.
  • When it's hard to hear, 3 tequilas sound like 3 Guinnes.
  • Can I get a Vortex please?
  • Did you know that if you just mention Tito Ariel's name that you can do anything you want? Or if you call in an order from retired Sgt. Destreza.
  • The Alamo is cool after the 5th time in the same weekend. I also am not allowed to use my cell phone inside, but chump teenage white girls are. Racist.
  • Do you think that everyone's girlfriend's boyfriend knows that their girlfriends are following Kuya Rex?
  • The toilet is in the corner of the elevator area at 5:30AM. Bryan will wake up and open the door for you, but Kuya Rex will not. He will knock down your lamp, though.
  • MyMy only missed the dean's list or whatever it's called by 3 points, which amount to two fingers being held up. Also, those three points could have come from some combination of 3 push ups, 3 sit ups, or 3 marksmanship points.
  • Don't walk out on your tab if your waitress got walked out on a bunch of tabs earlier because her friend got shot, and she was on the phone crying.
  • You ever work out so much that you get a headache? Try this: Eat a breakfast burrito, sit on those Swedish exercise balls, and watch other people work out.
  • We got 300 dollar rooms for 82 dollars cause our cousin is like the president of HR for whatever hotels.
This was top of the dome. Comment with some more if you think of any.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Got It

Got it, and getting the offer letter soon.

Now I'm gonna earn it for real.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Weekend Recap

Oh yes. Another long-ass weekend recap coming. I have nothing better to do right now, sitting around waiting for my number to get called downtown. Guess it's good to write down all the details even if it's lame and boring. Only sucks for the readers…which I guess is still me, one day.

Let's see… Thursday night was Monalisa's birthday dinner at Americas on Post Oak. This will be my second time going there. The first time was in 8th grade for 8th grade prom. I can't believe we got so fancied up at 14! I bet the waiters were pissed. We should have gone to Macaroni Grill like regular 8th graders. Anyway, I got off of work and rushed home 'cause whenever there are fancy dinners or parties, i never feel like there is enough time to get ready. Something with my hair or my outfit always goes wrong. Anyway, I had just gone shopping a couple of days before, so I had a few things to choose from that weren't old and tired outfits that I've recycled a million times, cause that's my thing: wearing the same thing all the time (We like to call it being the same clothes king). And it's always black or gray. Anyway, I end up wearing this one shoulder blue top with flower appliques sewn onto the left side and jeans. Did my hair and makeup and everything was OK. Except the shoes! I couldn't figure out what shoes to wear so I put on these gold platform wedges. Philip did not approve (I don't disapprove of anything, I'm not gay). I have the "hangover" when I wear them cause my foot slides to the front so my toes stick out hard. I start freaking out, cause the only other shoes I could think of were my white and beige wedges, but they broke as I was walking back to my car from an interview a month ago. Didn't get that job, by the way. But good- cause it would have been boring anyway. Take that! So Philip, being my personal fashion advisor, pulled out my silver sandals and I tried them on and it went perfectly. I bet it's from all the E! Hollywood (Only good show on there is The Soup) crap he watches that he has this "style". Oh yeah, and I also bet it's cause he hates when I wear heels 'cause it makes him look short. Philip dresses like a waiter or a bus boy: white button down and black slacks (This recapping is not helping your memory. I wore jeans). Grown and sexy. We have a couple of drinks and then have dinner. I had pan seared halibut with lemon butter sauce. Any time I see lemon and butter together, I'll most likely order it. Philip got seafood thing where it was like 4 mini stacks of scallops and seafood (I ordered four scallops on top of a little slice of good streak on top of a really good dob of mashed potatoes). Looked super tiny, but it was good. Did some more drinking and talking and then dropped the big bucks. Thanks Philip.

We left the restaurant and ended up at Glitter karaoke 'cause Philip's friend Jason was having something there. Chris and Shara were there and it was on the way to my house, so we stopped by for a second (I see Tomson's brother there, who I've never met but heard about from Tomson. Kept drinking beers and getting drunk, but I'm already really tired. Foreshadowing). My friend Gene was in town and he texted that they were going to Pearl Bar so I dragged Philip with me there too. On the drive up there Philip takes out my cigarette box and asks me if he can smash them. I call his bluff and say, "Do it." So he throws them on my floor mat and goes at it. He's seriously putting a lot of energy into it; kicking his feet up and smashing down hard, twisting his foot all around the ground (I barely remember doing it, and my inspiration was Rick James from Charlie Murphy's story about Rick putting his muddy feet on their couch. "F yo couch, n word!").

I want to be mad cause I didn't think he'd really do it, but it's a hard fight to win when you're a smoker. People will say, "Oh, well smoking is so bad, so he's doing you a favor. Blah blah blah blah blah." Well, maybe next time I'll knock the beer out of your hands or smash your wine glass on the ground or punch you in the mouth 'cause you just took a bite out of a Big Mac (I'm not daring you to do any of those things, and I'm not trying to quit any of those things). Take that people-who-think-everyone- who- is- not- a- smoker- is- so- much- better- than- everyone- else. I'm thinking about starting to quit. SO. We get to Pearl Bar and we hang out on the patio for a little bit and catch up for a second with my friends, then we leave cause Philip is dead tired (I'll tell them I threw a fit for no reason cause I was drunk and tired. Mad for no reason). Went home and Philip passed out immediately.

Friday. Philip gets off work early (At like 12 mudder trucking thirty, son) because it's ALMOST Memorial Day. I swear, his office gets the weirdest holiday hours. Oh! It's ALMOST Mother's Day, everyone take a half day off! I am super jealous because I hate being at work while he is available to hang out (That's really weird because Jessica has the greatest schedule ever. It's the I work for my dad schedule. It's also called I have to go to the city before it closes, but there's not really enough time to go all the way back to work, so I'll just go home early). He ends up working out, so I'm not that let down. I do end up getting home earlier than usual and we end up going to Happy Hour at Oishii with Dennis, Mona, Johnny and Eli. We order some stuff. I end up ordering stuff not on the Happy Hour menu to get back at Philip for the cigarette smashing incident. Just came up with that logic now, but it works. So guess who's sitting right by me at the table next to us? The LOSER BALDING EMO guy who works at, my local print shop, who made me cry last semester. I told a handful of friends about that incident, but I've repeated it too many times to want to type it all out again. But I will say this part cause it's the only kind of funny/interesting thing that came out of it even though it makes fun of me: they ended up putting a picture of a baby and a box of Kleenexes at the print shop in lieu of my crying incident. They SO don't know the real story though (When she told me that was him, I was like, "Wow, he's super effing gay!" The wish factor, I wished he'd heard me). We finish Happy Hour and everyone disperses. I had a feeling Dennis and Johnny really wanted to do hang out afterwards, but nothing was working out (Their friend Eli can't drink diddly). Philip and I end up going to the Galleria so he could get a nice shirt to wear to The Red Room later that night (Zara is expensive, and I got a shirt that wasn't as fitted as I wanted, so I'm gonna return it if I don't get lazy). We go back to my place and start getting ready. We had never been to The Red Room before, so we looked up some reviews. All of them read, "Snobby!" "Elitist!" "Bourgeoisie!!!" "Beware!" (Bet you had to look up the spelling of bourgeoisie, I just lost a buck,,, to myself!)
So… we douched it up. I wore a silk zebra print dress with gold chains that I thrifted for $8.50 and Philip wore his new gingham shirt. We decide to do a little pre-partying and play Egyptian Ratscrew (She got a couple of slaps, which really steams my boat, so then I had to say that saying, "Now I'm gonna play for real.")

So, I'm gonna try to finish this bad boy up. We get to The Red Room, and the bouncer was wearing exactly what one of the yelp reviews said, a dumb hat. Anyway, no trouble getting in of course cause of Jessica. Throw up noise. It's dark and red everywhere and Mona and her boyfriend have a little table with a big bottle of goose on it, and some of her friends were there already. I don't feel comfortable drinking their Goose, but I'm sure it's fine if Jessica does. So then I go to the bar to get a Jack on the rocks. For some reason, I get a double. Bartender seems kinda gay. It's pretty huge, but it's 18 bucks. We drink and talk and dance and junk, (Philip wants to hear some Trey Songz so I go and request it from the DJ. He says he has no idea who Trey Songz is. I never knew who Trey Songz was either until Philip taught me how to listen to the radio.) then I get another Jack on the rocks, this time a single. This single was pretty much the same amount as the double. Bartender seems more gay to me. Don't really remember leaving, but we go to Pearl Bar to meet up Jessica's friends at like 1. Jessica says that we just left cause I was too messed up and just sat in a chair with my head down or something. Pretty sure she was just too messed up to remember I was having super fun while she was being too messed up. Good night Friday.


Woke up Saturday pretty hungover. Now that it's Wednesday, it's really hard to remember everything. Oh yeah, so Jessica was gonna watch dumb ol' Sex and the City 2 at 320. Before that, we just ate at Pho Saigon, always good. Then I went home when she went to the movie. (Movie was good enough. Not as awesome as the first one, but I teared up at all the lame "touching" parts. I'm so weak when it comes to movies which is weird, because I'm so tough when it comes to life.) I went to church with Tita and my parents. Meeting at the front of the church was me and my parents, Timmy and his, and Tito Nilo and Tita Claire. Tito Onil suggested this super far Italian place named Nick's on West Airport and 1464. Anyway dinner tasted good, and I got recapped on ever comic in the world by Timmy. We also talked about how sucky it is to look for a job after graduating. I don't feel bad for Timmy cause I know he's way smarter than me, and he'll get something soon cause he's getting a bunch of interviews. I leave dinner to meet up Jessica, who's at dinner with her girls after the movie. (Ate at Baba Yega's with the girls. Wendy called someone to tell them where we were eating and she kept saying, "Yabba Gaga's". We had mimosas and tried to figure out how bags of water can keep flies away. )When I get there, we try to find out what to do and who's hanging out. Everyone and their mama was saving it for Sunday night. Nikko, Dennis, Sam, and Johnny all were saving it for Sunday night because Sam had a test Sunday morning. Me and Jessica make the most of it. I beat her at Lexulous super fast, and by a million points. Then we play a game of cricket on her dart board to see who's gonna buy beer. I beat her again. We go get a six pack of that Bud Light Golden Wheat beer, but as we're buying it I say let's go to Rudyard's just like old times first and just save these beers for after. We go to Rudyard's, and there are some losers on the pool table, so we play some darts. Dominate her some more, and I get super congested puffy after one and a half beers. I never know when that's gonna happen. I wait it out, and we see this Chinese kid we've seen at weird places like a house party, dragon boat festival and now at Rudyard's. Him and his friends are the ones taking up the pool table. They finally get done, but we find out it's already freaking 1:50. I finish getting puffy when we get back home, and I was looking up drinking games earlier that night. We try one that sounds pretty good, and it goes pretty hard. It's called brain damage, but that name sucks for it. It's like black jack but different. I kill her in that, and she gets pretty drunk cause she kept drinking at Rudyard's while I was being puffy. We go to sleep around 4 something. (I usually NEVER fall asleep first, but this time Philip kept asking me questions and I would doze off and then wake up real quick and act like I heard him and answer. Back then, when Philip dozed off he would say the weirdest things and I would write them down. Damn, I wish I still had them. OH yeah, but one time he jerked really hard and kicked his foot up and then woke up from it and said, "I dreamed there was a cup in front of me and I kicked it." I laughed so hard and that's probably my favorite one. He's so deep.)


I wake up too early on Sunday. We have Gab's birthday party to go to around lunch time. Jessica asks what to get him, and I'm like we have to get him something? She's good about getting people presents, but I never thought about it before. (People love gifts no matter what.) I forget I work now. I've been thinking about things to collect, and Nerf guns was one of the top choices. (Please no. I think Philip should collect hundred dollar bills instead.) So, then I think we should get him one, and then maybe get one for me, shoot. We go to Walmart, and their selection isn't as good as I thought. I see this double barrel shotgun made by some offbrand, but it looks better than some of the nerf ones and is cheaper. After we pay, we think about how to give it to him. We asked an employee if they had long bags, and maybe I could just give it to him in a long plastic bag. They don't have any, and Jessica says she has a sticky bow we could just stick on the box. Nah. I forget we're at Walmart, so then I just run back and get some wrapping paper. I figure it's Walmart, so I can just get some for a buck. They're all 3 bucks, what a rip off. Anyway, we leave, and Jessica wraps it on the way to Gab's. Gabs house is pretty fun. Nikko's the only other cousin there when me and Jessica get there, but there's a bunch of babies from only two of the cousins. They're super rowdy and fun. (Kate touches my dress by my stomach and tells me I have a baby. Yeah, I know that's the cliche "funny" thing all kids say, but I was super embarrassed because she kept saying it all loud in front of parents which insinuates sexual relations which is never good. Then she comes up behind me and sniffs the back of my head and tells me it stinks. Kids shouldn't lie.) There's a little basketball hoop in the living room that keeps me and Nikko occupied, while Jessica plays with the babies. Nikko tells me they have a real goal in their backyard, bingo! So we have a free throw contest for shot guns later on at night. If you get less than Gab in any round, that's a shotgun. The person that gets more than the other person gets to choose if they subtract a shotgun from their count or adds one to the other person's count. Gab's pretty good. Keeps giving Nikko shotguns, and duh, I'm giving Nikko shotguns. Nikko gets up to 8 shotguns before I cap it 6 later on cause I don't want Nikko to die. Nikko also goes a whole round of 10 shots without making a single one. Jessica plays a round, and she takes me to triple sudden death. It was on purpose. We're super sweaty the rest of the day. Bryan, Shara, and Chris all get there after their dragon boat practice, or as my dad likes to call it, drag race. My mom gets on my brother's case about getting dark. Now he knows how it feels to get nagged about getting tanned on accident. Marianne gets there with Tim, his girlfriend, Mark, and Joseph. The guys then play poker. I'm playing every hand because I know Jessica doesn't want to sit there all night if we're trying to go out later. (Good lookin' out.) Nikko gets first, and my brother and I tie for second. So, I got Jessica's 10 bucks back plus five.

All the kids start leaving to get ready to go out. Marianne and Shara have plans to go to Escobar. I have to drive Nikko and his car to Jessica's cause he's not allowed to drive past 8 on the weekends still. My car feels a lot better. My guy friends all start asking me what's going on cause they all saved it for tonight. Sam, Dennis, Johnny, and Eli all come over to pre party. Everyone shotguns a bunch. Me and Nikko get a headstart on his 6 he has to do. I do three of them together with him. Sam brings over Forties, and Dennis brings some more cans. Nikko ends up doing 7 shotguns, and I do about the same amount so people don't have to do it alone. That brain damage game becomes kind of a hit. We finally find a place to go, and it's Glitter. Escobar got really crowded.

I think Glitter has a gay bouncer. Also Chris and Shara's neighbor is part owner of the place. Me and my friends all have to pee, then Chris comes in and gets mad at Johnny for being alive. Eli is all messed up from nothing, so he tries to go pass out in the car. He comes back and just passes out in a chair. Glitter is a karaoke place, so Sam and Johnny go up there with Mark to sing Country Grammar, I think. Mark is super drunk the whole time, and keeps hugging and jumping on people. My brother isn't there, and Marianne keeps calling him a loser, but I keep telling her that he's having a house party right now. I see a guy from A&M there, and I yell his name out in the bathroom, "Hey, Leo!" Too bad his name is Theo, and he never says anything about it, but I found out from Dennis after I told him I saw Leo. End of the night, and the same people go back to Jessica's. Dennis leaves by himself, Johnny drags Eli to the car, and Sam gets picked up by some mysterious white car out of nowhere after he'd been semi passed out on the couch.

Monday: Memorial Day

Woke up and cleaned up a little bit by throwing away like 30 beer cans, all shot gunned. Me, Nikko, and Jessica met up Chris and Shara and Fung's kitchen for dim sum, which I never think is that good. Me and Jessica get there first and tell the lady we have five. Then in Chinese the lady tells another lady to give us the tiniest table, then Jessica busts her in Chinese, "No, don't give us that." Then Jessica tells me that she says, "That's not what I meant." Whatevergay. So, dim sum wasn't that good. If you think I'm just not getting the right stuff, suggest some stuff. After we're mostly done eating, I'm reminded of two chopsticks with one hand challenge. Remember how I said Jessica saw that Sam couldn't even break one, and when she tried it she could do it? Well she couldn't do it on this day. (Not enough nutrients and energy in dim sum food. Give me a couple of beers and those chopsticks are history.) Neither Nikko nor Shara could do it. I always thought I had really weak hands, especially for a tennis player. When we leave we see pictures on the wall of a bunch of famous people that have been there. George Bush Sr. and his wife, Robert Horry, Chucky Brown, Queen of Thailand, Channel 13 News, Marvin Zindler, Mayor Lee Brown, Hakeem.

Chris says just call him if we figure out what we're doing next cause he has to take a dump and get a burrito from Bullrito's cause he can't waste his free burrito every week for a year. I call my brother, but he hasn't been picking up his phone for a while. I don't have Marianne's number, so Nikko calls her and she says they have fajitas and they're playing monopoly. Jessica and I are gonna hang out for a little before we decide to go over there or not, I don't know what Nikko does. Jessica wants to watch some dumb movie that's only at the River Oaks theater, so you know it's dumb. We found out the times, and we have an hour to burn, so I say let's go to Toys R Us to look for Nerf guns. I want to start collecting them, but they're kind of expensive. When we see the boardgames, I remember that I had Weapons and Warriors when I was little. Gotta be one of the best ideas/games ever made. You roll some dice for action points and use those action points to either move your men or shoot some balls at the other person's stuff.

We can't find it in the store, so Jessica asks the store guys while I stand there acting like it wasn't my question because I'm embarrassed for some reason. (I wanted to ask them cause they were kind of cute. Psych. I'm deadmeat.) Anyway the guys act like they've never heard of it before, so they go to their computer to see if they carry it. Nope, they don't got it. Now I want to get home and look for it on the internet.

It's getting close to the first showing for Jessica's cool movie, but she misses the exit. I tell her let's see what they have at Blockbuster, and she can return her movies that are super duper overdue. She hasn't even watched one of them. We can't find one of the movies that I've seen sitting in the backseat for like a couple of weeks, but when we find it in the trunk, the dvd's not even in it. Before we walk in, I turn in the one she hasn't seen. We're debating between The Messenger with Woody Harrelson and The Road with Viggo Mortensen. We get The Road. There's a debacle at the counter because we think that the late fees probably are over what the movies cost, and we might be able to keep them. Did you know they cap the late fees at 10 bucks? Not so bad, I guess. Anyway the movies were 14.99 and 19.99, super rip offs. We just keep the movies cause the fees are capped anyway. We go to Kroger's and the bank. Getting dinner for the week saves some money, and you get to pick how healthy you're gonna be. Spaghetti, pork shoulder blade steaks cause they were five bucks, and chicken caesar salad.

Get home and prepare the steaks by marinating them. Then we watch The Road. Kinda good, pretty sad. (I thought it was awesome. Had all the elements I needed to make me feel things. Cried a million times and at one point if I just let go, I would have been bawling. But I had to act tough for Philip.) Oh yeah, no more movie at River Oaks. I wasn't even trying to miss it, promise. ("Exit Through the Gift Shop". Still gonna watch it.) We then try oven roasting the steaks by searing them and then putting them in the oven. Worked pretty well, but pork is easy cause they're already gonna more tender than beef. Jessica gets scared of diarrhea, but I never really think about that, I just think about if it's gonna taste gross. We eat the steaks with asparagus, and it makes my pee stink. I guess it makes Jessica's stink too, but since she can't smell asparagus pee because only a small percentage of the world can, maybe hers doesn't. Then we just watch a bunch of tv till 11:30, and I go home. A lean night.