Let's see… Thursday night was Monalisa's birthday dinner at Americas on Post Oak. This will be my second time going there. The first time was in 8th grade for 8th grade prom. I can't believe we got so fancied up at 14! I bet the waiters were pissed. We should have gone to Macaroni Grill like regular 8th graders. Anyway, I got off of work and rushed home 'cause whenever there are fancy dinners or parties, i never feel like there is enough time to get ready. Something with my hair or my outfit always goes wrong. Anyway, I had just gone shopping a couple of days before, so I had a few things to choose from that weren't old and tired outfits that I've recycled a million times, cause that's my thing: wearing the same thing all the time (We like to call it being the same clothes king). And it's always black or gray. Anyway, I end up wearing this one shoulder blue top with flower appliques sewn onto the left side and jeans. Did my hair and makeup and everything was OK. Except the shoes! I couldn't figure out what shoes to wear so I put on these gold platform wedges. Philip did not approve (I don't disapprove of anything, I'm not gay). I have the "hangover" when I wear them cause my foot slides to the front so my toes stick out hard. I start freaking out, cause the only other shoes I could think of were my white and beige wedges, but they broke as I was walking back to my car from an interview a month ago. Didn't get that job, by the way. But good- cause it would have been boring anyway. Take that! So Philip, being my personal fashion advisor, pulled out my silver sandals and I tried them on and it went perfectly. I bet it's from all the E! Hollywood (Only good show on there is The Soup) crap he watches that he has this "style". Oh yeah, and I also bet it's cause he hates when I wear heels 'cause it makes him look short. Philip dresses like a waiter or a bus boy: white button down and black slacks (This recapping is not helping your memory. I wore jeans). Grown and sexy. We have a couple of drinks and then have dinner. I had pan seared halibut with lemon butter sauce. Any time I see lemon and butter together, I'll most likely order it. Philip got seafood thing where it was like 4 mini stacks of scallops and seafood (I ordered four scallops on top of a little slice of good streak on top of a really good dob of mashed potatoes). Looked super tiny, but it was good. Did some more drinking and talking and then dropped the big bucks. Thanks Philip.
We left the restaurant and ended up at Glitter karaoke 'cause Philip's friend Jason was having something there. Chris and Shara were there and it was on the way to my house, so we stopped by for a second (I see Tomson's brother there, who I've never met but heard about from Tomson. Kept drinking beers and getting drunk, but I'm already really tired. Foreshadowing). My friend Gene was in town and he texted that they were going to Pearl Bar so I dragged Philip with me there too. On the drive up there Philip takes out my cigarette box and asks me if he can smash them. I call his bluff and say, "Do it." So he throws them on my floor mat and goes at it. He's seriously putting a lot of energy into it; kicking his feet up and smashing down hard, twisting his foot all around the ground (I barely remember doing it, and my inspiration was Rick James from Charlie Murphy's story about Rick putting his muddy feet on their couch. "F yo couch, n word!").
I want to be mad cause I didn't think he'd really do it, but it's a hard fight to win when you're a smoker. People will say, "Oh, well smoking is so bad, so he's doing you a favor. Blah blah blah blah blah." Well, maybe next time I'll knock the beer out of your hands or smash your wine glass on the ground or punch you in the mouth 'cause you just took a bite out of a Big Mac (I'm not daring you to do any of those things, and I'm not trying to quit any of those things). Take that people-who-think-everyone- who- is- not- a- smoker- is- so- much- better- than- everyone- else. I'm thinking about starting to quit. SO. We get to Pearl Bar and we hang out on the patio for a little bit and catch up for a second with my friends, then we leave cause Philip is dead tired (I'll tell them I threw a fit for no reason cause I was drunk and tired. Mad for no reason). Went home and Philip passed out immediately.
Friday. Philip gets off work early (At like 12 mudder trucking thirty, son) because it's ALMOST Memorial Day. I swear, his office gets the weirdest holiday hours. Oh! It's ALMOST Mother's Day, everyone take a half day off! I am super jealous because I hate being at work while he is available to hang out (That's really weird because Jessica has the greatest schedule ever. It's the I work for my dad schedule. It's also called I have to go to the city before it closes, but there's not really enough time to go all the way back to work, so I'll just go home early). He ends up working out, so I'm not that let down. I do end up getting home earlier than usual and we end up going to Happy Hour at Oishii with Dennis, Mona, Johnny and Eli. We order some stuff. I end up ordering stuff not on the Happy Hour menu to get back at Philip for the cigarette smashing incident. Just came up with that logic now, but it works. So guess who's sitting right by me at the table next to us? The LOSER BALDING EMO guy who works at Copy.com, my local print shop, who made me cry last semester. I told a handful of friends about that incident, but I've repeated it too many times to want to type it all out again. But I will say this part cause it's the only kind of funny/interesting thing that came out of it even though it makes fun of me: they ended up putting a picture of a baby and a box of Kleenexes at the print shop in lieu of my crying incident. They SO don't know the real story though (When she told me that was him, I was like, "Wow, he's super effing gay!" The wish factor, I wished he'd heard me). We finish Happy Hour and everyone disperses. I had a feeling Dennis and Johnny really wanted to do hang out afterwards, but nothing was working out (Their friend Eli can't drink diddly). Philip and I end up going to the Galleria so he could get a nice shirt to wear to The Red Room later that night (Zara is expensive, and I got a shirt that wasn't as fitted as I wanted, so I'm gonna return it if I don't get lazy). We go back to my place and start getting ready. We had never been to The Red Room before, so we looked up some reviews. All of them read, "Snobby!" "Elitist!" "Bourgeoisie!!!" "Beware!" (Bet you had to look up the spelling of bourgeoisie, I just lost a buck,,, to myself!)
So… we douched it up. I wore a silk zebra print dress with gold chains that I thrifted for $8.50 and Philip wore his new gingham shirt. We decide to do a little pre-partying and play Egyptian Ratscrew (She got a couple of slaps, which really steams my boat, so then I had to say that saying, "Now I'm gonna play for real.")
So, I'm gonna try to finish this bad boy up. We get to The Red Room, and the bouncer was wearing exactly what one of the yelp reviews said, a dumb hat. Anyway, no trouble getting in of course cause of Jessica. Throw up noise. It's dark and red everywhere and Mona and her boyfriend have a little table with a big bottle of goose on it, and some of her friends were there already. I don't feel comfortable drinking their Goose, but I'm sure it's fine if Jessica does. So then I go to the bar to get a Jack on the rocks. For some reason, I get a double. Bartender seems kinda gay. It's pretty huge, but it's 18 bucks. We drink and talk and dance and junk, (Philip wants to hear some Trey Songz so I go and request it from the DJ. He says he has no idea who Trey Songz is. I never knew who Trey Songz was either until Philip taught me how to listen to the radio.) then I get another Jack on the rocks, this time a single. This single was pretty much the same amount as the double. Bartender seems more gay to me. Don't really remember leaving, but we go to Pearl Bar to meet up Jessica's friends at like 1. Jessica says that we just left cause I was too messed up and just sat in a chair with my head down or something. Pretty sure she was just too messed up to remember I was having super fun while she was being too messed up. Good night Friday.
Saturday:
Woke up Saturday pretty hungover. Now that it's Wednesday, it's really hard to remember everything. Oh yeah, so Jessica was gonna watch dumb ol' Sex and the City 2 at 320. Before that, we just ate at Pho Saigon, always good. Then I went home when she went to the movie. (Movie was good enough. Not as awesome as the first one, but I teared up at all the lame "touching" parts. I'm so weak when it comes to movies which is weird, because I'm so tough when it comes to life.) I went to church with Tita and my parents. Meeting at the front of the church was me and my parents, Timmy and his, and Tito Nilo and Tita Claire. Tito Onil suggested this super far Italian place named Nick's on West Airport and 1464. Anyway dinner tasted good, and I got recapped on ever comic in the world by Timmy. We also talked about how sucky it is to look for a job after graduating. I don't feel bad for Timmy cause I know he's way smarter than me, and he'll get something soon cause he's getting a bunch of interviews. I leave dinner to meet up Jessica, who's at dinner with her girls after the movie. (Ate at Baba Yega's with the girls. Wendy called someone to tell them where we were eating and she kept saying, "Yabba Gaga's". We had mimosas and tried to figure out how bags of water can keep flies away. )When I get there, we try to find out what to do and who's hanging out. Everyone and their mama was saving it for Sunday night. Nikko, Dennis, Sam, and Johnny all were saving it for Sunday night because Sam had a test Sunday morning. Me and Jessica make the most of it. I beat her at Lexulous super fast, and by a million points. Then we play a game of cricket on her dart board to see who's gonna buy beer. I beat her again. We go get a six pack of that Bud Light Golden Wheat beer, but as we're buying it I say let's go to Rudyard's just like old times first and just save these beers for after. We go to Rudyard's, and there are some losers on the pool table, so we play some darts. Dominate her some more, and I get super congested puffy after one and a half beers. I never know when that's gonna happen. I wait it out, and we see this Chinese kid we've seen at weird places like a house party, dragon boat festival and now at Rudyard's. Him and his friends are the ones taking up the pool table. They finally get done, but we find out it's already freaking 1:50. I finish getting puffy when we get back home, and I was looking up drinking games earlier that night. We try one that sounds pretty good, and it goes pretty hard. It's called brain damage, but that name sucks for it. It's like black jack but different. I kill her in that, and she gets pretty drunk cause she kept drinking at Rudyard's while I was being puffy. We go to sleep around 4 something. (I usually NEVER fall asleep first, but this time Philip kept asking me questions and I would doze off and then wake up real quick and act like I heard him and answer. Back then, when Philip dozed off he would say the weirdest things and I would write them down. Damn, I wish I still had them. OH yeah, but one time he jerked really hard and kicked his foot up and then woke up from it and said, "I dreamed there was a cup in front of me and I kicked it." I laughed so hard and that's probably my favorite one. He's so deep.)
Sunday:
I wake up too early on Sunday. We have Gab's birthday party to go to around lunch time. Jessica asks what to get him, and I'm like we have to get him something? She's good about getting people presents, but I never thought about it before. (People love gifts no matter what.) I forget I work now. I've been thinking about things to collect, and Nerf guns was one of the top choices. (Please no. I think Philip should collect hundred dollar bills instead.) So, then I think we should get him one, and then maybe get one for me, shoot. We go to Walmart, and their selection isn't as good as I thought. I see this double barrel shotgun made by some offbrand, but it looks better than some of the nerf ones and is cheaper. After we pay, we think about how to give it to him. We asked an employee if they had long bags, and maybe I could just give it to him in a long plastic bag. They don't have any, and Jessica says she has a sticky bow we could just stick on the box. Nah. I forget we're at Walmart, so then I just run back and get some wrapping paper. I figure it's Walmart, so I can just get some for a buck. They're all 3 bucks, what a rip off. Anyway, we leave, and Jessica wraps it on the way to Gab's. Gabs house is pretty fun. Nikko's the only other cousin there when me and Jessica get there, but there's a bunch of babies from only two of the cousins. They're super rowdy and fun. (Kate touches my dress by my stomach and tells me I have a baby. Yeah, I know that's the cliche "funny" thing all kids say, but I was super embarrassed because she kept saying it all loud in front of parents which insinuates sexual relations which is never good. Then she comes up behind me and sniffs the back of my head and tells me it stinks. Kids shouldn't lie.) There's a little basketball hoop in the living room that keeps me and Nikko occupied, while Jessica plays with the babies. Nikko tells me they have a real goal in their backyard, bingo! So we have a free throw contest for shot guns later on at night. If you get less than Gab in any round, that's a shotgun. The person that gets more than the other person gets to choose if they subtract a shotgun from their count or adds one to the other person's count. Gab's pretty good. Keeps giving Nikko shotguns, and duh, I'm giving Nikko shotguns. Nikko gets up to 8 shotguns before I cap it 6 later on cause I don't want Nikko to die. Nikko also goes a whole round of 10 shots without making a single one. Jessica plays a round, and she takes me to triple sudden death. It was on purpose. We're super sweaty the rest of the day. Bryan, Shara, and Chris all get there after their dragon boat practice, or as my dad likes to call it, drag race. My mom gets on my brother's case about getting dark. Now he knows how it feels to get nagged about getting tanned on accident. Marianne gets there with Tim, his girlfriend, Mark, and Joseph. The guys then play poker. I'm playing every hand because I know Jessica doesn't want to sit there all night if we're trying to go out later. (Good lookin' out.) Nikko gets first, and my brother and I tie for second. So, I got Jessica's 10 bucks back plus five.
All the kids start leaving to get ready to go out. Marianne and Shara have plans to go to Escobar. I have to drive Nikko and his car to Jessica's cause he's not allowed to drive past 8 on the weekends still. My car feels a lot better. My guy friends all start asking me what's going on cause they all saved it for tonight. Sam, Dennis, Johnny, and Eli all come over to pre party. Everyone shotguns a bunch. Me and Nikko get a headstart on his 6 he has to do. I do three of them together with him. Sam brings over Forties, and Dennis brings some more cans. Nikko ends up doing 7 shotguns, and I do about the same amount so people don't have to do it alone. That brain damage game becomes kind of a hit. We finally find a place to go, and it's Glitter. Escobar got really crowded.
I think Glitter has a gay bouncer. Also Chris and Shara's neighbor is part owner of the place. Me and my friends all have to pee, then Chris comes in and gets mad at Johnny for being alive. Eli is all messed up from nothing, so he tries to go pass out in the car. He comes back and just passes out in a chair. Glitter is a karaoke place, so Sam and Johnny go up there with Mark to sing Country Grammar, I think. Mark is super drunk the whole time, and keeps hugging and jumping on people. My brother isn't there, and Marianne keeps calling him a loser, but I keep telling her that he's having a house party right now. I see a guy from A&M there, and I yell his name out in the bathroom, "Hey, Leo!" Too bad his name is Theo, and he never says anything about it, but I found out from Dennis after I told him I saw Leo. End of the night, and the same people go back to Jessica's. Dennis leaves by himself, Johnny drags Eli to the car, and Sam gets picked up by some mysterious white car out of nowhere after he'd been semi passed out on the couch.
Monday: Memorial Day
Woke up and cleaned up a little bit by throwing away like 30 beer cans, all shot gunned. Me, Nikko, and Jessica met up Chris and Shara and Fung's kitchen for dim sum, which I never think is that good. Me and Jessica get there first and tell the lady we have five. Then in Chinese the lady tells another lady to give us the tiniest table, then Jessica busts her in Chinese, "No, don't give us that." Then Jessica tells me that she says, "That's not what I meant." Whatevergay. So, dim sum wasn't that good. If you think I'm just not getting the right stuff, suggest some stuff. After we're mostly done eating, I'm reminded of two chopsticks with one hand challenge. Remember how I said Jessica saw that Sam couldn't even break one, and when she tried it she could do it? Well she couldn't do it on this day. (Not enough nutrients and energy in dim sum food. Give me a couple of beers and those chopsticks are history.) Neither Nikko nor Shara could do it. I always thought I had really weak hands, especially for a tennis player. When we leave we see pictures on the wall of a bunch of famous people that have been there. George Bush Sr. and his wife, Robert Horry, Chucky Brown, Queen of Thailand, Channel 13 News, Marvin Zindler, Mayor Lee Brown, Hakeem.
Chris says just call him if we figure out what we're doing next cause he has to take a dump and get a burrito from Bullrito's cause he can't waste his free burrito every week for a year. I call my brother, but he hasn't been picking up his phone for a while. I don't have Marianne's number, so Nikko calls her and she says they have fajitas and they're playing monopoly. Jessica and I are gonna hang out for a little before we decide to go over there or not, I don't know what Nikko does. Jessica wants to watch some dumb movie that's only at the River Oaks theater, so you know it's dumb. We found out the times, and we have an hour to burn, so I say let's go to Toys R Us to look for Nerf guns. I want to start collecting them, but they're kind of expensive. When we see the boardgames, I remember that I had Weapons and Warriors when I was little. Gotta be one of the best ideas/games ever made. You roll some dice for action points and use those action points to either move your men or shoot some balls at the other person's stuff.
It's getting close to the first showing for Jessica's cool movie, but she misses the exit. I tell her let's see what they have at Blockbuster, and she can return her movies that are super duper overdue. She hasn't even watched one of them. We can't find one of the movies that I've seen sitting in the backseat for like a couple of weeks, but when we find it in the trunk, the dvd's not even in it. Before we walk in, I turn in the one she hasn't seen. We're debating between The Messenger with Woody Harrelson and The Road with Viggo Mortensen. We get The Road. There's a debacle at the counter because we think that the late fees probably are over what the movies cost, and we might be able to keep them. Did you know they cap the late fees at 10 bucks? Not so bad, I guess. Anyway the movies were 14.99 and 19.99, super rip offs. We just keep the movies cause the fees are capped anyway. We go to Kroger's and the bank. Getting dinner for the week saves some money, and you get to pick how healthy you're gonna be. Spaghetti, pork shoulder blade steaks cause they were five bucks, and chicken caesar salad.
Get home and prepare the steaks by marinating them. Then we watch The Road. Kinda good, pretty sad. (I thought it was awesome. Had all the elements I needed to make me feel things. Cried a million times and at one point if I just let go, I would have been bawling. But I had to act tough for Philip.) Oh yeah, no more movie at River Oaks. I wasn't even trying to miss it, promise. ("Exit Through the Gift Shop". Still gonna watch it.) We then try oven roasting the steaks by searing them and then putting them in the oven. Worked pretty well, but pork is easy cause they're already gonna more tender than beef. Jessica gets scared of diarrhea, but I never really think about that, I just think about if it's gonna taste gross. We eat the steaks with asparagus, and it makes my pee stink. I guess it makes Jessica's stink too, but since she can't smell asparagus pee because only a small percentage of the world can, maybe hers doesn't. Then we just watch a bunch of tv till 11:30, and I go home. A lean night.
Perce!
these blogs are getting too long to enjoy.
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