Parking Lot Rules

There are a couple of parking tactics for finding a spot when the school lot is too full. First, you can park your car in a specific lane and hope that someone from that lane leaves, then you just turn on your blinker and ease your way in. Easy. Only rule to that one is you can't get in a lane if someone is already there. Second tactic is that you wait by the entrance of the art building and wait for people to walk out. You drive up to them with your window down and solicit them into riding in your car as you drive them to their spot. This one is a time-saver, but I'm always uneasy about doing it 'cause it's kind of creepy. The small-talk is another reason it's not as appealing. There usually isn't much to talk about and it's usually about my seat-belt beeping 'cause none of them put it on when they get in. "Man, isn't that beeping annoying?!? It's ok though, you don't need to put it on, 'cause I'm sure your car is super close." Really interesting conversations.

So one time last semester, I was driving around looking for a spot. Nothing was happening. No one walking out, every freaking lane taken. I was really getting upset 'cause I hate driving around in circles making eye contact with the losers who are staked out in the lanes over and over and over again. I finally see this guy standing among the parked cars, looking all confused and stuff. He probably even scratched his head. Really awkward looking, young, skinny white guy. Big backpack. You know the kind. I pull up next to him and I'm like, "Hey! Can I give you a ride to your car?" He doesn't even turn around to acknowledge me, so I keep at it. "Hi. Helllllo? Let me give you a ride!" Nothing. So I honked a little honk. He finally turns around and I'm like waving at him to look at me. He walks over and I ask him again if he needs a ride. He starts talking and says he can't remember where he parked and also that he's deaf. I'm like, WHOA. He talks so gooood. Super impressed. He gets in the car and I start driving around. He puts on his seat belt. I ask him what kind of car he has ( a Jeep), what color is it (green), if he remembers parking far or close (doesn't know). We make small talk as I circle the lot and he tells me he's studying technology, IT stuff. I tell him he's really good at talking, and he tells me he's also really good at lip-reading. So my face is always slightly turned towards him as I'm driving. I bet I looked dumb and I bet he gets that look a lot. Anyway, we keep circling and I'm like, dude, where the hell is his car??? I see other spots opening up, and this is taking way too long. He sees me eyeballing all these available parking spaces, and he tells me to just take one and he'll walk around to find his car. Sweet. I pull into one and I'm all like concerned, "Are you sure???", "I mean it's cool to keep looking.", "I feel bad." He insists, so...yay. He gets out of the car and we start walking away. I turn around all smiling big, and I go: "DUDE!!! Use your car alarm button!" (I am accentuating my mouth for each word and I'm doing whole the pressing an imaginary car alarm button thing with my hands). He says back, "I'm deaf!"

I'm smart. Wish I had the annoying seat-belt beeping conversation with him too. Then I'd be double smart.