Lonnie

So the party we went to on Saturday was super fun. Saw a lot of my good friends who I haven't seen in awhile. They got to meet Philip for a second time, and I can tell they like him a lot which is a plus. I love integration. Anyway, the point of this post is to talk about Lonnie, the superstar.

The party was on the rooftop of my friends' Mo and Abbas' lofts. Their room was down the hall from the roof, so bathroom access wasn't all that convenient. However, there is a penthouse suite right next to the roof and the owner of the penthouse let the party-people use his bathroom. Mo warned me that in order to use the bathroom, you had to make small talk with the owner who he said was "crazy" and "definitely on something" (Mo was tapping the inside of his arm with two fingers as he was saying this). What I imagined was not even close to what this guy looked like. It turned out this guy was pretty awesome. He was hands down the most entertaining guest there. He looks like Ninja from Zef Side except add 200% more gayness.


We go to his penthouse to use the bathroom and every bulb in his house is a black light. The one in his bedroom changes colors every minute. He had also purchased a fake marble column which he put by his kitchen. It was made of plastic and my friend Wendy almost knocked it over a couple of times. To say he is eccentric is an understatement. He moves around a lot, talks a lot and is super uppity and friendly. He's constantly offering you stuff too. When I first talked to him it's cause he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and it looked like a joint 'cause it was all brown so I asked him what it was. He said it was a fancy cigarette and offered me one from his pocket. Apparently he only puts them in his mouth cause he likes how they look and feel, but he doesn't light them up. Just lets it hang there. His hands were full so he told me to go ahead and get them myself. It's safe 'cause he's gay. I pulled these out:

Gorgeous. Yeah, I smoked it.

It's hard to imagine what his day job is like since he just seems so...out there and crazy. Plus, his penthouse looks really baller. Philip kept trying to get me to ask him what he does. Finally when a bunch of us were at his place standing around his island, I saw a business card laying on all these UPS boxes that said Lonnie & Robert and asked him what he did for a living. He said he made things. Then he picked up a box in front of him and said all excitedly, "And I made this luggage!" It looked like this:


You know he didn't make that. It came in the freaking UPS boxes. We were all passing it around like, "Hmmm.. interesting. You MADE that? Nice luggage." Then he picked up these huge XXL lace panties from inside the boxes and said he made those too. Then he said he made dance wear. Then he gave some of the panties and leggings to my friend Omar and Patrick and told them to wear it on their heads if they wanted to stop migraines. So they did. What he does is still a mystery, BUT I did find this website.

Then later when we were all outside he took off his shirt and put on some thick gold chained necklaces. I mentioned something about them and he got super excited and said, "You like gold? I'm going to get more gold!!! I'll be back with more gold!!!" Then he rushed out to find more gold. He came back with no gold, but did put on a new t-shirt with some gold graphics on it. We were all laughing super hard, cause he loves gold. Fajah fajah.